“Oh, gee. Thanks.” I strode past him.
“Ember!” Xaedren chased after me.
“No!” I pushed him away. “No. I can't do this.”
“Not even to save the world.”
“Let the fucking world burn,” I snarled and stormed away. Muttering to myself, I added, “What has it ever done for me?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
In the days that followed, I thought a lot about the beach. The one Xae had taken me to. I'd been so happy there with him, but that happiness had been brief. I didn't even get to go swimming. I thought we'd have all day, so we had sex first. Now I regretted not enjoying the ocean more. Not that I regretted having sex with Xae. I'd never regret that. But it looked as if I wouldn't be going back to the beach anytime soon.
Not with Xaedren at least.
I should have told Finn to keep it all a secret. But even if I had, he may not have agreed. To him, my potential to unite a group of Wraith Lords and turn them into an elite fighting unit capable of defeating the Corrupter was news that had to be shared. And he did. Rapidly. By the next morning, every Wraith Lord looked at me differently. The day after that, the offers started again. Not flirtation or propositions—invitations. Requests to take me to dinner and shit like that. They wanted to do more than seduce me now. To join my band of supercharged men, they had to win my love, so that was their goal. You'd think they would have avoided me. I know I would have. But these men were all dedicated to ending the war, and, as Finn said, they were used to sacrificing for it.
And that made it so much worse.
I knew that every man who approached me was doing it out of obligation, not any true desire for me. They didn't want me. They wanted the power to defeat the Corrupter. All right, I knew some of them desired me because they had flirted with me before, but none of them wanted to love me. I guess, technically, I was the only one who had to be in love. So, maybe they were thinking they'd make me fall in love and just fuck me once in a while. Shit, maybe they'd ditch me after I shared my power with them. Whatever they were planning, I didn't want to fall in love with a man who didn't love me back. By sharing my secret, Finn had made it nearly impossible for me to fall in love with someone other than Xae.
Of course, there was Rath.
“What is it?” Rath asked as we strode down a corridor together.
I had passed my Fire training and was now a master of four elements. As far as my combat training, Rath had been giving me lessons in his bedroom every night. Neither of us wanted a repeat of what had happened with Xae in the training yard. Plus, I was more comfortable getting my butt kicked in private. And one-on-one combat training didn't need a lot of space.
Now, we were on our way to meet with Mistress Lectia and start the final phase of my training—Spirit Magic. This was what I'd been waiting for. I would have been excited if not for the weight of the world hanging on my shoulders. I spent my days hiding from Wraith Lords, eating in my room, and randomly bursting into tears. It just wasn't fair. My so-called gifts had brought me nothing but pain.
“Nothing,” I muttered.
Rath stopped walking and gripped my arm. “Ember, you still have a choice.”
“Do I?” I looked up at him. “If I refuse to do this, I'll lose everyone. The Wraith Lords will turn on me. They've become a family to me, Rath. I've never had this, never felt as if I was part of a community. But they won't understand my choice. They think I'm being selfish.”
“Maybe you are.” Rath shrugged. “But family doesn't give up on each other just because they don't agree. They'll come around. Just stand your ground.”
“You're not going to try to convince me to take multiple lovers?”
“No. I would never do that.”
“Not even to save the world?” I asked bitterly.
“Fuck the world.”
I snorted a laugh. “That's kind of what I said to Xae.”
“Listen, Ember. This war has been going on for a very long time. Would I like to end it? Of course. But I'm not a man who believes in sacrificing one person to save many. I'm the man who storms a castle with an army, risking many lives to save a single captive. Because it's about the principle. Right and wrong. And it's wrong to force someone to do something they don't want to do, even if it saves others.”
“Thank you.”
“I just want you to know that no matter what you decide, I'll still be your friend.” He lowered his grip to my hand and squeezed. “Always.”
“Rath, you know you have my friendship forever too. You're my best friend.”
“I do know that.” He grinned. “That's why I want you to be happy. And it's not as if you've done nothing for the cause. You're training your ass off, trying to become powerful enough to join us out there. The other Lords know that, Ember. You won't be rejected for being true to yourself.”
“I hope not.”
