With a growl of approval, Xae carried me to the bed. He laid me down gently, then removed my pants as I pulled off my tunic. Once I was naked, I lifted my legs, hooking my knees over my arms to expose myself, just as he liked me to. Xaedren made a low, rumbling sound of pleasure, staring at me like a starving animal as he shoved his shorts down. His glorious erection sprang forth, but instead of pouncing, he grabbed one of the bottles off the bedside table and poured oil into his palm. Eyes on me, he coated his cock, stroking it to make wet sounds that made my heart race. Then he brought his slick hand to my cock and stroked me.
“Xae, please.”
“I've got you, Ember.” He set the head of his cock at my entrance and pushed slowly. “I've got you, and I'll never let go.”
I groaned as the popping sensation of Xae breaching my outer ring sent a zing up my spine. Then he was moving in and out, little by little, working me slower than usual. Normally, my Xae liked to slam home as soon as my body allowed it. But this time, he drew the penetration out, watching my face as he undulated his hips, churning his cock in my channel.
“Rest your legs on my shoulders,” Xae said as he helped me set them there. Then he bent over me, pushing me backward on the bed until he could crawl onto the mattress. He bent further, pushing my legs down toward my shoulders while he claimed my lips. Then, tenderly kissing me and moaning into my mouth, he pumped steadily into me. Lifting his head, Xae ended the kiss, but stayed there, close enough to take my mouth again when he wanted to. “Your ass is so tight. Tighter than any I've ever had. Like a fist around my cock.”
I frowned. This was not the sweet talk I was hoping for. And Xae still hadn't said he loved me in return. Maybe he didn't. Shit, he probably didn't. That's why he was distracting me with sex. My heart plummeted into my belly, dissolving in acid.
“What's wrong?” Xae stopped suddenly and rose onto his hands to stare down at me.
“Nothing. I'm fine. Keep going.”
“I can tell when you're upset, Ember.”
“No, it's fine.”
“Ember!” He yanked out of me and pulled me upright. Sitting back on his heels, he demanded, “Tell me now.”
I cleared my throat and gathered my courage. The hard part was over; I had confessed my love for him. Telling him I wanted him to love me in return wasn't so bad. It was perfectly understandable. I could do this. “I'm just a little disappointed that you don't feel the same as I do. But it's all right. I understand. You can't rush things like this.”
“What are you talking about?”
I scowled at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? I just professed my love to you, and you haven't said it back.”
Xaedren blinked. His lips twitched.
My heart boiled in my belly. Fuck.
“This isn't funny.” I moved back, away from him. “You're the first man I've loved. That means something to me.” I slid off the bed as he started to chuckle. I shook my head. “I can't believe I thought it might mean something to you too. Goddess, I'm a fool.”
I took a deep breath and blinked rapidly. I wouldn't cry in front of him. Then I'd be an even bigger fool.
“Ember.” Xaedren got off the bed and came toward me.
“No.” I held up my hand. “I'd be fine if you just weren't there yet, I can't expect you to fall in love at the same time as me. But you laughing at me, as if that emotion were for children, that's too much. That tells me you will never feel the same. And I can't torture myself with that. I'm sorry, Xae, I feel too much for you now to have this mean nothing to you.”
“Nothing to me?” Xaedren made a huffing sound. “I have publicly declared myself to you from the very beginning. I've defended you from other men, shown affection for only you, and even fed you. Do you know nothing about Ladrin?”
I went still, my jaw going loose, then finally found my voice, “No.” I scowled and stalked forward to shove at his barrel chest. “No, you asshole! I don't know anything about Ladrin other than they murdered my family. Forgive me if I haven't researched your culture.”
“Ember,” his deep voice went tender as he clasped my upper arms. “We Ladrin believe actions are more important than pretty words. Anyone can say they love you, but we show our love through gentle touches, protection, and seeing to each other's basic needs. That's how we know the love is real.”
“Basic needs? Like bringing me food?” I whispered.
“Yes.” His grip loosened, and he brought his hands up to cup my face. “I should have known you wouldn't understand, but it's all instinctual to me. I assumed my actions were universal signs of affection. Since they are not, I'll try to be more clear. It's hard for me to speak about emotions. I haven't had a lot of practice, but I'll do it for you. Because I love you too, Ember.” He bent his forehead to nuzzle mine, then lifted his head and dropped his hands to my shoulders.
“You love me?” My tight shoulders fell beneath those broad palms.
“Just now, I was making love to you instead of fucking you. That was my response to your declaration. And that's why I was laughing. It wasn't at you. I was laughing at myself because I realized that I'm the fool. You're not a Ladrin, so you can't sense my emotions through my actions. I understand that now.”
“Shit,” I muttered. “No, I can sense your emotions.” I laid my palms on his chest. “I have from the beginning. But this is all new to me, and it's hard for me to believe that someone like you would feel anything more than lust for someone like me. I needed to know for sure. I needed to hear the words.”
“I love you,” Xae said again. “I'm the one who can't believe that you love me. I'm a big, blundering, uncouth, animal who forgets to comb his hair.” He waved at the tangles, then grimaced. “I'd keep it short, but then I'd have to find someone to cut it.”
My chest filled with shimmering warmth. To think that this fine man felt insecurities just like me, that he saw himself as unworthy ofme, was shocking. Shocking and endearing. The Wraith Lord had just become so much more to me. A real man with a real heart, and that heart was full of love for me.
