“He had to establish his dominance, and he was willing to take a hit to do so,” Mistress Arcasa said. “That was the fastest way to show the element that he's in charge, even in a dire situation. After he masters the magic, then he can allow it to respond for him when he needs it to. But for now, he must be in control at all times.” She looked at me to add, “Now, Ember, you're ready to ignite.”
Chapter Eighteen
Rath faded us back to the citadel, and I immediately went to my room to shower. Lake water is not the cleanest. I mean, who knows what Mistress Arcasa did in it?
“See you at dinner,” I said to Rath as I opened my bedroom door.
He smiled and brushed back my bangs. “You look good with wet hair.”
I went still. He was just a few inches away. My stare went from his eyes to his lips. They were slightly parted. Waiting to be kissed. But then Rath stepped back.
Yup. That's what always happened when he got too close.
“Thanks,” I mumbled and hurried into my room.
Maybe my soaked state added to it, but Rath's rejection—his constant rejections—suddenly made me furious. Since the day Rath had told me he couldn't risk a relationship with me, I hadn't made one single move toward him. No flirting, no long looks, nothing. But he did. And he did it so subtly, that I couldn't put him in his place. Rath would look away when I caught him staring, or say things like he just said, things that were on the verge of flirtation. Then the fucker would withdraw. So, I constantly felt rejected even though I didn't instigate anything with him! It was frustrating, belittling, and so fucking unfair it made me want to spit. On him.
I went into the bathroom, yanked off my wet clothes, tossed them in the sink, and stepped into the shower. The hot water didn't help. I was still angry when I toweled off a few minutes later. Angry and horny.
“I need to get fucked,” I growled. “Maybe if the sex is good enough, I can fuck away my feelings for Rath.”
As I got dressed, I considered my options. As I mentioned before, I've had several offers. Keltyr was at the top of the list. But Keltyr would crow about it. He'd tease me and talk. The whole citadel would know he had me minutes after he left my bed. I didn't want that. I wanted discretion. Someone who would just fuck me and walk away. Never mention it again unless I came back for another go, and then, only to me. But who would do that?
I prowled through the halls feeling strangely powerful. This wasn't me. I didn't do shit like this. Even the secret affairs I'd had were with men who I had watched from afar first, gotten to know as much as I could back then. I needed more than a physical attraction to fuck someone. Frankly, those affairs ate at me. They still bothered me because they weren't enough. I hated seeing my lovers in public and acting as if there was nothing between us. I wanted something real. Someone who would be proud to be with me. And I could have it now. Just not with Rath.
So why not look for someone who would want a relationship with me? Oh, I would. But I had needs that had to be seen to immediately. I had waited too long for this, and now Rath had pushed me over the edge. If I didn't have sex soon, I was going to explode. Plus, the Wraith Lords don't judge people for having meaningless sex. Theylovemeaningless sex. So even if the man I chose wasn't discreet, it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be shamed by it. It wouldn't wreck my chances of being with someone special.
Making the decision to experience pleasure without attachment and knowing that I was in a place where I was completely accepted was what made me feel strong. Here, I could be myself in every way. Do whatever made me feel good. Maybe I'd choose Keltyr after all. Fuck it. I wanted to know what he could do with his tail.
“How's your training going?” a deep voice drawled.
I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned toward the sound. It was as if those words had released something inside me. A magic spell to enchant me. My heart sped up. My throat went dry. A thrill ran down my spine. Was it a sign that this man, in particular, caught my attention right when I decided to find someone to have sex with? It sure felt like it.
Lord Xaedren was leaning against a doorframe—hair wild and chest bare. His pants were slung low, half-buttoned, and I couldn't help following the pale hair on his sculpted chest down to his smooth belly, then to a hint of curls at the V of his crotch.
Xaedren growled, the sound coming from deep in his throat, and straightened. “You'd best stop looking at me like that.”
He's a Ladrin, I kept thinking.A wolf.But maybe that was just what I needed. Xaedren would serve two purposes—he'd help me with my hardening cock and also get me over my issues with his clan. And Xaedren wouldn't go blabbing to the whole citadel that we had sex. He was perfect.
Gathering my courage, I asked, “Or what?”
Oh, that gave me a thrill. The power that had been riding me returned, blooming under the lust that suddenly lit Xaedren's eyes. Had I done that? Little Ember starting a fire at last. Who would have thought that fire would be in Wraith Lord Xaedren of the Wolf Clan?
“Are you playing with me, Ember?” Xaedren stepped forward, crowding me with his barrel chest.
I didn't back down or back away. “No.” Feeling bold, I set my hand on his chest, sliding my fingers through his silky pelt. “But we can play if you want to.” I clenched my hand, pulling on his hair.
Lowering his head, Xaedren glared at me. “Why would you want to play with me? I thought you hated my kind?”
“How many times do I have to tell you that I don't hate your clan or you?” I asked as I met his gaze. “Yes, I have a terrible history with wolves. It haunts me. But I know it's not fair to hold it against all of you. Especially not you. You've shown me that the Wolf Clan can produce good men. But I need more to get over my issues. Wanna help me with that? Maybe give me something good to associate with Wolf Ladrin?”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating over me like magic. “I'm not a gentle lover. I doubt what I'd do to you would help you get over anything.”
Another thrill ran down my spine, then zinged through my cock. Breathlessly, I said, “That sounds like just what I need.”
Xaedren looked down at my tented crotch and grinned. “So, the little human wants a good hard fucking from a wolf. And here I thought you were after Ratharin, that you wanted something . . . sweet.”
The way he said “sweet” made it sound like poison. Yep, he was perfect.
