“Michael, don't you open that oven!” Satan shouted after the Archangel. “They've got another four minutes at least!”
Chapter Fourteen
“So what do we have to do?” Bohel asked.
“Nothing too dramatic,” the Devil said. “I'll conduct a rite in which you'll drink my blood and vow your eternal loyalty to me. Oh, and did you happen to bring a goat to sacrifice?”
The whole table went silent.
“Dad!” the Angel of Death whined.
“Really, Luke. It isn't nice to tease people like that,” the Holy Spirit chided.
Lucifer burst out laughing. “Sorry, boys. I couldn't resist. You were just so serious.”
“Damn it, Luke! You even had me going,” Thad said.
“Nice one!” Sam held his fist out toward Lucifer.
The Devil delicately fist-bumped War.
“Dad, this isn't the time for jokes,” Azrael said.
“No, of course not.” Lucifer went serious. “And to answer your question, Bohel, it's just a quick vow to break your connection with Jerry and establish one with me. Then you'll be able to partake in the energy I distribute among my people. You might even get a little boost.” He winked.
Ira lifted a brow. “How much energy do you get from humans?”
Lucifer sighed. “Humans find it easier to believe in evil than good. Then there are the,”—he lowered his voice to whisper—“sacrifices. The evil acts and the more direct offerings.”
“He gets a lot of power,” Azrael said dryly. “And he's not stingy about sharing it.”
“What am I gonna do with it all?” Luke shrugged, then swiped some frosting from his cinnamon roll and licked it. After a sound of delight, he said, “I just need enough to protect Hell and my family. And keeping the Demons strong helps me do that.”
“Well, you might wanna think about keeping a little more for yourself, just for the time being,” I said. “You may need it.”
“I have more than enough juice to kick that idiot right in his poopy pants, Vervain.”
I made a face. “Gross, Luke.”
“You're the one I got that term from.”
“Yes, but calling someoneapoopy pants is very different from saying you're going to kick themintheir poopy pants.”
“Which could lead to poopy shoes,” Sam said.
“Can we stop talking about poop at the dining table?” Holly asked.
“Sorry, Holly,” I said.
“Look, changing sides doesn't have to be a big deal,” Luke said to the Angels. “All I need is your willingness.”
“Won't it be difficult to break Jerry's hold on them?” I asked.
Luke snorted. “Hardly.”
“I don't know, Luke. My ties with my Intare are really strong.”
“You love your lions, Vervain. Jerry doesn't care one lick for his people, and he barely gives them any energy. Both of those things weaken the bonds. Trust me, it will be easy and neither they nor he will feel anything.”
