That didn't work for me. I don't like being that vulnerable with a lover. It's the very reason why I don't fight outside my weight class, if you know what I mean. As I mentioned earlier, I'd be too nervous—first about being good enough for him, then about being good enough to keep him. I don't need that kind of stress in my life, especially not my sex life. Give me a moderately attractive man, on my hotness level, who I won't feel insecure around, and I'd be blissfully happy.
I wouldn't be happy with the Falcon Lord. Oh, I'm sure I'd have moments of bliss, but then he would destroy me, and being destroyed isn't worth any amount of bliss. Mama didn't raise a fool.
“Excuse me?” the Falcon Lord growled.
“I'm gay, and I think you're divinely attractive; that has nothing to do with my refusal.”
“Then what does?” He looked as if he couldn't decide whether to preen or pout.
“I don't want to be a valorian.”
“What?!” he snarled.
“I don't want that kind of pressure.” I shrugged. “I don't want the responsibility, and I sure as shit don't want to be immortal.”
“Youdon'twant to live forever?”
“No. I don't know about you faeries, but I think humans were made to live and die for a reason.” I brushed off my hands and went to a nearby basin to wash them off, continuing to speak to him over my shoulder. “Life is more precious when it has an end. What would I do with forever? I think it would get old even while I didn't.” I dried off my hands and turned back to see him gaping at me. “Besides, I thought a human had to be dying to be made a valorian?”
“No,” the Falcon Lord murmured distractedly, as if trying to speak while also trying to figure out a massive quandary. “Sharing our souls can heal all wounds shy of death, so it's been used to save humans, but the process doesn't require you to be injured. It's a reward; it can be given at any time.”
“Oh. Well, then find someone else you think is worthy.”
“That's just it, Captain,” his tone hardened. “There is no one else. I've been compelled to choose you.”
“Compelled by who?”
“The Goddess and the Falcon Soul.”
I blinked, then lowered my gaze to the triangular jewel that hung around his neck on a thick, gold chain. Its rosy color seemed brighter now, more vibrant than it had been in the tent earlier, and I swear that it winked at me.
“The soul stone told you to choose me?” I whispered, as if it could hear me. “It speaks to you?”
“It's connected to my kingdom and also to the Great Falcon—the God who birthed my race with the Goddess,” he explained. “In that way, it has sentience. It urged me to share my soul with you.”
“Well, fuck,” I huffed.
The Falcon Lord chuckled, probably thinking that had done the trick.
“Now I really feel bad about saying no,” I went on.
The Falcon Lord's face fell. “Are you fucking insane?” he snarled. “You don't refuse the chance to become a valorian.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . . it's . . . it's an honor and you're made . . .”
“Fae?” I lifted a brow at him, suddenly angry. “Are you saying that no human would pass up the chance to become fae because you guys are so much better than us?”
The Falcon Lord blanched. “No, of course not. I just meant that it comes with certain perks. Not only do you become immortal, but your body is also made stronger and you'll get to go to Varalorre.”
“All things that I don't care about, Falcon Lord,” I said, not unkindly. “I'm sorry, but I'm not your guy. Your soul stone made a mistake.”
The Falcon Lord clenched his jaw, lifted his chin, and stalked away.
“Fuck, I'm so fired,” I muttered.
Chapter Four
