My kishanos had given their approval. In light of what Braxis had done—the rescue and the way he'd handled himself with me—they had unanimously decided that Braxis could court me. I was especially shocked by Malik's capitulation, but he added the caveat that if the Fusion did accept Braxis, he couldn't mate me. Mal would never allow me to bear Braxis's mark.
It was good news, of course, but I still didn't know how I felt about Braxis. The scar of our past was fading fast, and I now trusted him implicitly. But that didn't mean I loved him. Even if I had, I still wasn't sure about us dating. I was happy with my kishanos. I had four lovers. Four! I shouldn't have even been entertaining the thought of adding another man. But now, as far as my men were concerned, the option was on the table. And that was what I was talking to Braxis about.
I knew Alex had been called—we had to notify him about the traitor in the Triari Embassy, as we had notified my uncle, the Triari King—and I knew he had insisted on coming over to speak with us. But, frankly, I didn't give a damn about playing the welcoming hostess and being there when he arrived. I was too busy trying to figure out what the forest I wanted.
“It's okay, Mara.” Braxis beamed at me. He hadn't stopped smiling since I'd told him he had the green light to court me. “I never expected to win their approval this quickly, and I certainly don't expect you to just fall into my lap.”
“You mean, as I did earlier today?”
Braxis's smile softened. “That wasn't you.”
“It was me, I was just enhanced.”
“Mara, in the state you were in, you would have had sex with that Fury,” he said gently. “Itwasn'tyou.”
I nodded in concession. “I would have had sex with a piece of furniture.”
Braxis chuckled. “You might have.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” he went serious. “I'm glad it happened. Without going through that, I wouldn't be able to do this.” He swept up my hand and kissed it tenderly. “Besides,” he spoke just a hairsbreadth away from my hand, brushing his lips over my skin, “it wasn't all torture.”
I cleared my throat and retrieved my hand. Braxis sat back immediately, giving me space. We were on a balcony in an upstairs sitting room with a view of the garden. Germany was several hours ahead of D.C. so it was still early afternoon, and it felt wrong. My body clock was all out of sorts.
“Do you want me to leave, Mara?” Braxis asked gently.
My head spun back to face him as I nearly shouted, “No!” I cleared my throat as he smiled and then added in a calmer tone, “No, I don't want you to leave. I just want you to go slowly with me. I feel like every relationship I've had—every important one—has been rushed. Can we just take our time?”
“I will be happy to go as slowly as you wish,” Braxis said, his eyes burning with love. “As long as I'm with you, I'll be content.”
“Thank you for being strong enough to... for not...”
“Mara,” he whispered with a little hurt in his tone, “I will forever be haunted by the image of you lying beneath me with tears in your eyes. Do you truly think there was anything you could have said or done to convince me to have sex with you when you weren't in full possession of your mind?”
“No,” I whispered. “But I remember you saying that I was killing you.”
“You were.” He grinned broadly. “In the best way possible.” Then he sobered. “I love you, and I got a chance to say it to you with you lying beneath me, wanting me. That was enough to make it worthwhile.”
“Braxis, this isn't just about my kishanos and me. Even if I return your feelings, the Fusion might reject you.”
“Yes, I heard what Cyprian said,” Braxis said soberly. “I understand, but I'll take my chances. I have faith in us.”
“We began so badly,” I whispered. “So very badly, Braxis.”
“Then we had better make sure that we end well.”
“Or that we never end.” I stood up and stepped across the small space between our chairs.
Braxis's eyes widened as he spread his legs so I could step between them. My hands went to bracket his face as I leaned down slowly and brushed my lips over his. Just testing the waters. Not for him, but me. I needed to know how I felt about him now—with me in a place of power. Braxis shuddered and his arms closed around me but they did so loosely, as if he didn't want to scare me. What was more important was the flash of desire that burst through me with that half-kiss. It gave me the courage to move closer and open to him.
A rumble lifted from Braxis's chest to vibrate against my lips as he clutched me tighter and swept his tongue into my mouth. He kept his hands on my back, not daring to venture further, but I let mine wander down the column of his throat and over his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his shirt. His mouth moved eagerly over mine, his kiss fierce but also tender. In it, I felt more than love, I felt possibility.
I pulled back before I could get lost to it, kissing him chastely one last time before stepping out of his embrace.
“What was that?” Braxis whispered as he watched me resume my seat.
“That wasmyapproval.”
