“It's Talonius. I gave you my real name from the start, Amara,” he said in a low, sensuous tone.
“How sweet,” I whispered.
Talon sighed and laid his hand over mine. “I'm sorry I've done this to you.”
I looked up and met his gaze.
“I didn't want to hurt your parents. I just wanted—”
“Don't!” I hissed. “Don't you dare try to justify what you did.”
“I was just trying to follow your rules and make you want me.” He grinned viciously as he swung me up into his arms. “I didn't give a fuck about your parents.”
“Well, that makes me want to kill you slower, but it doesn't help our current problem,” I sneered.
“Haven't you heard of a hate fuck?” Talon licked his lips as he stared at my breasts. “Nice tits, Your Majesty. I'm looking forward to sucking on them as I plow your pussy.”
My hands clenched into fists as Talon carried me to the bed and laid me down on it. I started to tremble as he crawled over me, getting into position. With Braxis, I had told myself that it was just my body, that I could endure anything he did to it because it didn't matter. But now, I faced the same thing with a man I truly abhorred, and I was shocked at how different it felt. There is no excuse for rape, but with Braxis, I understood what had prompted his actions. I understood his fury over what I'd done and how it had driven him temporarily insane, turning him into a vicious thing bent on vengeance. I knew that for a Bleiten male, raised to cherish women, there was no greater way to punish a woman than to take her honor by sexually abusing her. In Bleiten culture, it was akin to whipping a warrior or perhaps torturing him—the same level of abuse and indignity. I had behaved as a warrior and killed his men, but he couldn't avenge them by torturing me because I was a woman. He had to go another route. All of that didn't make what Braxis had tried to do to me right, but it did make it different.
Or maybe it didn't. Maybe this was very similar, simply with the tables turned.
Braxis had been avenging the murders of his men—men who were like brothers to him. Now, I lay beneath a man, about to perform an intimate act with only rage in my heart. I wasn't going to rape Talon, but I was going to have sex with him with the intent to subjugate him—to weaken and then kill him. I wanted to save Leo, to save us all, but I also wanted vengeance on Talon for the murder of my parents. I was going to fuck him to hurt him. Was this how Braxis had felt when he tried to rape me? This overwhelming hatred? This disgust?
But no. It had been worse for Braxis. Braxis didn't hate me like this—he hadwantedto hate me. He was furious with me, but he had desired me too. That made for all sorts of complications. I can't even imagine what was going through Braxis's broken mind when he had me pinned beneath him, but I knew it wasn't this consuming rage. If he had felt like this, he would have simply killed me. He never would have softened toward me as he had. Never would have become insanely obsessed with me. And he never would have fallen in love with me once his insanity had passed.
Dear Danu, why was I thinking about Braxis now? Was he even alive? Had Talon's men killed Braxis before they took us? No, they would have taken him too. Wouldn't they? Braxis would have fought viciously; perhaps they weren't able to take him alive.
Damn, now I was worried about Braxis too.
And that right there was the biggest difference between this situation and what had happened between Braxis and me. I respected Braxis. I cared about him despite what he had tried to do to me. Despite what he did do. I understood him. It took a lot for me to get past the trauma between us, and I was still working through some of it, but I had forgiven Braxis. I valued Braxis's friendship now—so much so that I had been devastated when I thought he had betrayed us. Yes, what Braxis had done had left an emotional scar, but someday that scar would fade. That would not be the case with Talon.
Having sex with this man would haunt me for the rest of my life. It would leave a wound that would never heal, only bleed poison. But I wouldn't let it break me. I was the instigator here. I was in charge, and I had to remember that.
I slid my hands up Talon's arms and around his shoulders as he settled between my legs. His wings spread behind him, over us, blocking out the room until it was just him and me. His head lowered, his lips parting. I cringed as his mouth covered mine and his shaft nestled between my thighs. Talon groaned as he slid his tongue into my mouth.
I made a horrified sound and shoved him back. I hadn't done it purposefully, my body just reacted. I'd been on the verge of retching and had to breathe deeply to stop the bile from rising. Talon got to his knees, straddling me, and waited. I shuddered, my breath coming in rapid pants, but I was finally able to calm myself.
“Are you done?” Talon asked dryly.
I nodded. “I just need a minute to compose myself.”
“Maybe you need a little foreplay.” He settled between my thighs again and bent over me.
Starting at my neck, Talon began to kiss his way down my throat as his hands slid down my sides. One went between my legs. I let out a whimper when he touched me there, my body clenching in denial, hips angling away.
“Shh, relax,” he whispered in my ear. “Close your eyes. Pretend I'm someone else.”
“That's actually not such a bad idea,” I grumbled, and he chuckled wickedly.
I closed my eyes and thought of Malik. It was his wings blocking out the light. His body above mine. But no, this body was too thin to be Malik. I tried again. Kyrian. His lips were brushing over my breast. His tongue flicked out to taste my nipple.
I screeched and pushed at him. “No! Stop!”
Talon growled and leaned back again. “What do you want me to do? What will make you comfortable?”
“If you really were someone else,” I hissed.
Talon climbed off the bed and gave me a considering look. “I have something that might help. I didn't want to offer it before because I thought... well, never mind. Do you want to take an aphrodisiac?”
