“Okay.”
Braxis gently towel-dried my hair as I sipped my drink. The warmth and his soothing movements helped. My brain was starting to process everything. I was okay. Braxis had saved me. I wasn't going to be hurt by all of those men. I was okay. And I had done it. I had saved Braxis and won his love. He'd be as loyal to me now as he was to his men. I had an instant urge to ask him to take me home but I knew it wasn't the time for that. I had to let this love percolate a little longer. Danu could be falling even as I sat there, docilely letting him dry my hair, but I couldn't rush this. One wrong move and I'd be back at the beginning.
“You didn't run,” Braxis whispered as he drew the towel away.
I turned to look at him and lowered my drink to my lap. “I couldn't let you die. Not when I could save you.”
“Not even to save yourself from me?” His eyes softened and even though I couldn't see his aura, I knew it was brimming with dusky rose.
Part of me was grateful that I couldn't look. Colors were my life—they meant more to me than even words did. Seeing the love in Braxis' aura would affect me deeply and I wasn't ready for that. I prayed that I'd never be ready.
“Not even for that,” I finally said. “I told you, you're a good man, Braxis, and I don't let good men die.”
Braxis hung his head as his jaw clenched. He took a shaky breath and said, “I have sorely misjudged you, Amaranthine.”
“You've also saved me.”
He lifted his head and tears glistened in his eyes. “It was because of me that you needed saving. Even had I hated you, I was honor-bound to rescue you from them. But you saved me when you had every reason to abandon me. You had your magic back. You could have used it against me but instead, you used it to heal me. You gave up your chance to escape and instead, saved my life. And doing so only brought you more pain. It nearly got you—” his voice caught and he had to take another breath. “Will you forgive me, hashanna?Please, forgive me.”
I stared at him in shock—not because he'd asked for forgiveness but because I suddenly wanted to give it to him. I set my mug down on the tray and then did something radical. Something my men would hate but something my heart urged me to do. I got to my knees, the blankets falling away, and hugged Braxis.
Braxis stayed rigid for two seconds in disbelief, then his arms wrapped around me tightly and he pulled me onto his lap. He cradled me there—his head bent over mine and my cheek pressed against his solid chest—and we just breathed together. All of the pain and torment between us drained away. All of the hatred. We were just two people who had been thrown together violently but had managed to weather the storm.
“I forgive you,” I said to his chest. “Please, forgive me too.”
Braxis made a soft sound and his throat worked convulsively. “I have already forgiven you. I... Amara, I love you.”
Chapter Forty-Three
I went still in Braxis' arms.
“I don't expect you to feel the same,” Braxis went on in a rush. “I know this is sudden and I've done nothing to earn your love. So, that's what I intend to do.”
I leaned back to look at Braxis. I should use this moment to get home; it was what I'd been working toward. But, staring into his earnest eyes and remembering how I felt when I'd thought he'd betrayed my trust, I couldn't lie to him. I may not return his love, but I did care for Braxis. More than I wanted to admit.
“I love four men, Braxis,” I said softly. “Profoundly and completely. That's a lot of love. It's a lot of responsibility and work as well. People think that love should be effortless and perhaps between two people, it can be. But my life isn't simple. I have to make sure that each man has what he needs to be happy—that I'm not neglecting one for another. But we've found a way to make it work.”
“And you don't think I could work in your life?” Braxis lifted a challenging brow. “Even if I were to agree to share you with them?”
“You and Malik...” I shook my head. “He would not be happy. And the others may not be as forgiving as I am. You're an amazing man and I'd be lucky to have you in my life but I just don't think it's possible.”
“It is,” he insisted as he took my hand and pressed it to his chest, right over his heart. “I feel it here. You are my mate.”
“Braxis.” I tried to move away, but he held me firm.
“Amara, I've felt it from the first moment our eyes met,” he declared. “You stood before me in nothing but a cloak and still looked like a queen. I've been yours from then forward. I've fought against it and it consumed me. I went mad from denying my feelings for you and let that madness drive me to do terrible things. Your forgiveness proves to me that we are still meant to be together. The Gods have given me another chance to win you and I intend to do it properly this time.”
“I can't promise you anything,” I whispered.
“Not even friendship?”
I smiled softly. “You have that already and you know it.”
Braxis grinned unabashedly. “Then keep me as your friend and I will be content. Let me know you, Amara, and give yourself the chance to know me. I'll prove to you that we are blessed by the Gods.”
I froze.Blessed by the Gods—that's what Everan had said about our fusion. And Everan had captured me too. Was there a connection? I shivered as a hazy memory tickled my mind. A memory of a vision. A vision I had as a goddess. In another time and another place. A place where only gods could tread. In that godly place, with a goddess' power, I had seen my life unfold as if it were a film shown for my entertainment. All of the hardships and blessings, all of the heartbreak and love. Everything. But I couldn't remember it. I had taken only one thing back with me when I returned to my physical body. One sentence that had become a sort of mantra for me and my men:Our love will heal the universe. But I'd been remembering more since then—getting glimpses when I needed them. Like now. I had just been given another glimpse and it contained a flash of fiery hair.
Dear Gods, was Braxis right? I had wondered if history was repeating itself and had tossed that notion out as the insanity of my guilt but what if those echoes of Everan were there for a reason? What if they were meant to catch my attention—a sign to show me the way to love? Oh, fuck.
