I had no blasted idea.
After dinner, Braxis and I spent some time strolling around the rec room before we headed back to the suite. I got nervous once we entered the bedroom and wasn't sure what to do. I sat in the chair I favored, the one near the window, and waited. Braxis went to the closet and pulled out one of his tunics.
He held the tunic out to me. “I thought you could sleep in this.” He cleared his throat. “If it would make you feel more comfortable. It's thicker than the shift I gave you.”
“Thank you.” I took the tunic and headed into the bathroom to change.
After I showered and slipped on Braxis' tunic, I stood there staring at myself in the mirror. Had it only been a few days since I'd stood there and convinced myself to make Braxis fall in love with me? It had been a desperate plan that I hadn't expected to work and yet, there I was, on my way back to my lovers, wearing Braxis' shirt because he wanted me to feel comfortable. It had worked but not in the way I'd planned. I knew it would feel wrong but I hadn't expected to feel this overwhelming guilt and... and whatever this other feeling was.
“Do not fall in love with him, Amara,” I said sternly to my reflection. “You can't have him. You have Malik and Kyrian and Cyprian and Everan. They are more than enough. They are more thananywoman deserves or needs. So, put a wall around your exceptionally-full heart and keep that man out, you greedy woman.”
I nodded determinedly, took a cleansing breath, and went back into the bedroom to face Braxis. He was in bed already, on his back with his eyes closed. The covers were pulled up to mid-chest on him and his arms laid at his sides. His chest rose and fell evenly and his expression was peaceful. He appeared to be asleep.
I let out a relieved breath and slid into bed beside him. Braxis didn't stir. I turned on my side toward him, seeking some of his warmth, and sighed. All those muscles gave off some serious heat. I hit the button to turn off the lights and drew the blankets over my shoulders. My eyes closed and opened and closed drowsily. Braxis' profile was the last thing I saw before sleep took me.
I came half-awake hours later, warm and pressed against a firm body. My hand slid across the hard plains and valleys of a tight stomach, then up the solid curves of a male chest. The body stirred beneath my questing touch and turned toward me. I felt safe within those strong arms but then the press of an erection caught my attention and my feeling of security shifted into arousal. I nestled closer and laid kisses along the smooth skin of his chest. My sleep-addled brain summed up those muscles, brawn, and thick shaft and came up with a name: Malik.
I was home and safe within the arms of my mvarro.
I sighed happily as I reached between us and took him in hand. Malik groaned and his arms tightened around me. When I laid onto my back, he followed, rolling atop me and settling between my thighs. My hand pumped him firmly and angled him toward my entrance but my panties were in the way. Mal made a growling sound and pressed his shaft against me. He started to rub it over my sex, the movement splitting me and driving the silk into my crevice. I moaned and lifted my face to his as I clutched his broad shoulders urgently. His lips covered mine. A hot tongue slipped inside my mouth and urged mine into a stroking dance. His mouth moved fiercely and his cock pumped harder, rubbing against my swollen clit. Then his stubbled beard brushed my face and I went still.
Malik doesn't have a beard.
“Amara?” Braxis' voice cemented the fact that the man above me wasn't my husband and I went surging into sharp and horrified awareness. “Are you all right, hashanna?”
I gasped and pushed at his chest frantically. Braxis immediately rolled away. His hand fumbled around the headboard and the lights suddenly came on, illuminating his worried face.
“Did I hurt you?” Braxis asked urgently.
“I... oh, Gods, I thought you were... I'm so sorry, Braxis. I was sleeping better because I wasn't so scared anymore and I must have forgotten where I was.”
Braxis' jaw clenched but he nodded. “It's fine.” He rolled onto his back and started to take deep breaths.
“I didn't mean to tease—”
“I understand,” he cut me off. “I shouldn't have assumed that you were awake.”
“No, it wasn't your fault.” I ran my hand over my face. “Braxis...”
“Itismy fault,” he said firmly. “I should have given you the room and slept in another. But I was selfish and wanted to be close to you for as long as I could. I'm sorry, Amara. I've dishonored you again.”
“Braxis,” I said regretfully as I slid up against him.
“Don't!” He jerked away and rolled out of bed.
I stared at him in shock. Braxis was naked and glorious, his massive muscular body bathed in soft light and his cock rising proudly. I couldn't help myself; my stare roamed his wide biceps, nearly as big as my thighs, and coasted down his chiseled chest. Some men who try to bulk up end up with lean hips that make them look top-heavy—their bodies simply aren't built to hold all that muscle. Braxis, however, had been born this way and the width of his hips was appropriate to the breadth of his shoulders. It didn't matter how much muscles he had over that frame, he'd always be a large man.
Not only were Braxis' hips the right width, but they also had intriguing sinews around them that corded beneath his skin and led my eye down to the columns of his legs, coated with slabs of muscle. He had been monstrous to me once but now, all I could see was beautiful power. It's amazing how a change in the way that you feel about someone could also affect how you see them.
My stare dropped to Braxis' thick shaft and I swallowed past the dryness in my throat. It was big enough that it would require work to make any interaction pleasant instead of painful. And that shouldn't have excited me—I'm not a woman who craves a huge penis—but it did and it made me imagine all of the things Braxis would do to me to make me more receptive to his member.
Braxis let out a tortured sound and clenched his hands into fists. I looked up into his agonized expression and realized what I'd been doing—teasing us both even more than I had just moments before. It wasn't just unfair, it was also terribly cruel and so very stupid.
“Braxis, I'm sorry,” I rushed to say. “I shouldn't be looking at you like that. I just... you're standing there naked and I actually like you now. I can't help but appreciate the view.”
“Look at me however you wish, hashanna,” Braxis declared with a desire-roughened voice. “Stare at me with those bewitching eyes whenever the need takes you.” He came back to the bed and knelt on the mattress directly before me. “Touch me. Take me into your hand and stroke me. Kiss me. Lick my skin. Bring me to the edge of climax only to turn away from me and leave me in agony. I will accept it all. Just remember who you are touching. Seeme, not any of them, and I will endure—nay, I willwelcomeanything you do to me.”
I rose to my knees and took his face in my hands. “I see you, Braxis. I see all of you and it makes me wish I was someone else. Someone who could have you. But I'm not. So, I shouldn't even look, but you are just sofuckingbeautiful.”
