The magic grew stronger, swirling around Verin and me, merging into one powerful force. It pressed in on us from all sides. When they finally reached the lines they needed—those that spoke of belonging only to yourself and breaking free of anything that held you back—the energy dove into Verin and me. We gasped and shuddered with the force of it. My hands gripped his shoulders as we swayed.
“I've got you, Elaria,” Verin whispered. “I won't let go.”
“I won't either,” I vowed.
The lyrics seemed to come to life inside me—freedom but only so that I could love fully. We didn't belong to each other; we weren't enslaved by love but were instead free to choose each other and embrace it. It truly was the perfect song for us. A release from the trappings of love—the vibrant but meaningless show—and a vow to hold to the truth of it. We were more than this spell—our lovewas more than it—and if we let go of the magic, we'd be all the stronger for it.
But the spells didn't want to let go—neither Vivian's love spell nor the spell I had cast unwittingly. Even though I wanted it to break, my spell refused to go down easily. It dug in its metaphysical fingers and held on for dear life. I began to tremble so violently that I didn't realize Verin was shaking with me. We clung to each other—two leaves in a storm. Low moans crawled up Verin's throat, seeping past his clenched teeth as I threw back my head and started to scream. Fire and Light and Spellsong erupted inside me and I couldn't tell if they were helping or hindering. My instinct told me to sing—to summon magic that would win the battle for us—but wisdom warned against it.
Don't fight it, just hold on, my love!Kyanite urged.We're almost there. Just a little while longer.
It's buckling!RS added.You can do this, girl!
I collapsed and Verin caught me. How he could remain standing while suffering that kind of agony was beyond me. Not just standing, but also supporting my weight. I lifted a shaky hand to his face and he pressed his forehead against mine. The pain was mental, I knew it was, but it still seemed as if it were invading every cell of my body. Around me, my family lifted their voices, putting even more power into their spell. They danced and sang and pumped their fists into the air, exulting in the union of their power. I felt their magic expand in me before suddenly condensing into a sharp point.
They had found the heart of the spell.
As the Spellsingers shouted the last lines, the spells broke—both Vivian's and mine. Verin cried out roughly and we fell to our knees together. He still held me even though his arms trembled and his chest rose and fell rapidly with his ragged breaths. My head laid limp on his shoulder and his head angled over mine.
“Elaria?” I heard Slate call anxiously.
“Leave them be a moment,” my Aunt ordered crisply. “That was harder than expected.”
My breath stuttered in my throat. Verin and I lifted our heads and stared at each other.
“Verin,” I whispered in horror, “what have we done?”
Chapter Forty
“My fire?” Darcraxis asked warily.
“Give me a second, babe,” I said without looking away from Verin.
“Sweet stones, she's back!” Torin exclaimed in relief.
Verin stared at me as if he wanted to snatch me up and run away again and it was taking every ounce of his strength to control the urge. The muscles in his neck corded and those in his face went taut. His hands went from holding me to clenching into fists.
I could feel my face trembling—little shivers around my eyes and lips. My immediate reaction had been in response to the way I'd treated the men I loved. That love had come rushing back in full force, drenching me in intense feelings of relief and guilt. I'd bailed on them and cheated on them and tossed it all in their faces. I was horrified by my behavior—horrified at what I must have put them through. But that was about them. The question was, how did I feel about Verin? Did I regret what we did together? And, more importantly, had any of it been real?
“Ellie?” Slate asked anxiously.
“For fuck's sake, she said to give her a second,” Eilener growled at my guys. “Can't you see that she's trying to process her real feelings?”
Everyone looked at Eilener in shock, even I finally looked away from Verin to glance at my stoic uncle.
“What?” Eilener huffed. “I have feelings. I feel stuff.”
I looked back at Verin and whispered, “So do I.”
Verin closed his eyes as if in pain and hung his head.
“Verin?” I asked warily.
His cheeks fluttered as he clenched his jaw.
“I see,” I murmured and started to stand.
Verin's fists opened so that he could grab me and hold me in place. He lifted his head and met my stare. His eyes were deep indigo; that meant intense emotion but this time, the emotion was shame. I could see it not just in his eyes, but all over his face.
