“Do your wards only cover the palace?” I asked Verin.
Verin blinked at this change in subject. “No. Well, normally they do, but I've had the outer ward activated in addition to the palace's ward so that the entire valley is protected.” He waved at the wall behind us—rising even higher than the palace—then out toward the wall at the far end of the valley. “The curtain walls and guard towers serve as anchors for the outer ward.”
I stared at Verin for a long moment. We both knew why he'd activated the second ward but neither of us wanted to say it aloud. Saying it would mean remembering men who I didn't want to think about right then. So, instead, I circled back to Meilen.
“Why can't a comparison be made with Meilen?” I prompted him as I took a seat on the couch.
“She is not you.” Verin sat beside me and took my hand. “I cared for her but it wasn't love.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
Verin grunted and looked away.
“You'veneverbeen in love?” I asked in shock.
He turned back to me with a surprised smile. “You read me even better than my mother. That was supposed to be noncommittal.”
“You haven't, have you?” I pushed.
“I don't know,” Verin confessed with a shrug. “I don't...” He sighed deeply and stared at a starfish that had wandered up onto the window pane.
“You don't what?” I nudged his shoulder.
“I don't love as other people do.”
“That's bullshit.”
Verin grunted.
“Why do you believe that?” I tried it again.
“Because I've seen people in love and I've never felt anything that would make me behave like them.”
“You don't have to act foolishly to show your love for someone,” I said gently.
“Perhaps not foolishly but not exactly rationally either.” He looked at me. “I've never behaved so impetuously. That's how I know I haven't loved anyone before you. And if you are the first woman I've loved, then I must love differently than other men. Before I met you, I often wondered if Icouldlove in that way.”
“Verin,” I said softly, “love isn't restricted by time. You could have gone a thousand years without falling in love simply because you didn't meet someone who you could connect with. It doesn't mean that you're broken or lacking, just that you aren't willing to settle. And frankly, I find that very attractive.”
Verin grinned—nearly smirked. “Do you?”
“I do, but I have to cry foul about the impetuous thing. I've seen you do things that I know were out of character for you; Zhavage even commented on them. Like when you helped us with Petra, both before and after her death.”
Verin looked at me as if I'd answered my own question.
“Oh,” I whispered. “But you didn't love me then.”
“I've told you this over and over, Elaria,” Verin grumbled. “I may not have loved you enough for the RS to accept me, but my heart was softening toward you. Recall how angry I became because I thought you had enchanted me back then. Imagine what I was feeling—how intense it must have been for me to assume it was magic.”
“And I thought the RS was twisting my emotions,” I whispered. “Sweet stones, Verin, could this be real? Do you think the spell has already faded?”
“I don't know.” He slid an arm around me and pulled me against his side. “But it feels real to me.”
“It feels real to me too.” I eased away from him and scooched back toward the center of the couch.
Verin grunted questioningly.
“I want to lie here and watch the fish.” I motioned him over.
