“Well, we'll train first,” she gave me a secret smile. “Then you'll be prepared to train with him.”
“All right, Tink,” I gave in. “I'll try this positive thinking out, but if it doesn't work, I'm going native.” I waved my hand toward the tribe, and she giggled.
“You've got a deal,” Tinker Bell flew off.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“Come on; we need to find the perfect spot.”
“I need a perfect spot to think positively?” I huffed as I hurried after her.
It turned out that I did. Tinker Bell led me to the top of Dionysus's Drop: the tallest cliff in Neverland. She told me to sit at the edge and breathe deeply, letting all my frustration drain out of me into the rock. When I felt as if my body was lighter and nearly numb with relaxation, she had me look out across this magical paradise that had been built just for me. She had me acknowledge all of the good things I'd been given and then had me focus on them–be grateful for them. It was a momentous shift for me.
I don't mind admitting that I was a bit self-centered and selfish before Tink's little meditation session. I knew how and why I'd been fashioned, so a lot of what I felt had been instilled into me by the gods themselves. But I'd also been created with kindness and generosity, so even though I could get a little blasé about my beauty, I did so matter-of-factly, not out of pride. It didn't seem like a big deal to me since the men I lived with were each as beautiful as I, in their own ways, and also, my beauty had only gotten me in trouble thus far. Through meditation, I realized that I'd learned to associate beauty with trauma, and even though I wanted my warriors, I couldn't allow myself to love them. They were just too handsome, and I couldn't trust that.
Silly, right?
Tinker Bell showed me that beauty was not good or bad, it simply was something nice to look at. Sometimes the person who wore a pretty face wasn't pretty inside, and sometimes they were. I needed to release the bondage my beliefs had placed upon me because my life hadn't been entirely unlucky or tragic. I could have been abandoned on this island as Epimetheus had intended.
Zeus had screwed me over, but Dionysus had done the best he could for me. If I focused on the wonderful things I'd been given in exchange for the heartache I'd endured, I could see that I had come out ahead. I would never age or sicken, and I would never be touched by most of the evil I had released on the world. I had a sanctuary and warriors to protect me. That was lucky. I was blessed, and I needed to remember that. A glistening happiness filled me.
Then Tinker Bell sprinkled me with pixie dust.
“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust,” she sang out.
I felt even lighter, and something rushed through my body like a landslide–powerful and rumbling. I opened my eyes and found myself floating out over the edge of the cliff. I gasped and flailed and then plummeted down toward the rocks below. I started to scream.
“Happy thoughts, Pan!” Tink shouted. “You can't fly when you're sad or scared. Think of something that makes you happy! Close your eyes and do it now!”
I focused back on my warriors, seeing them as more than possible lovers, mere romantic distractions, and as the men they were. I had grown to know each of them intimately, but I had denied that sort of intimacy. I had been afraid. I didn't want to be hurt by a man again. But now I saw them for who they were. I focused on the traits that made them special. Drakon's skill, Praxis's humor, Erastos's sensuality, Akylas's kindness, and even Straton's steadfastness. They were another blessing, and I hadn't appreciated them. Not truly.
My rapid descent whipped my long hair up, and my stomach went with it, lodging in my throat as fear filled me. I pushed it away determinedly and focused back on the men. My gorgeous, loyal warriors. I was lucky to have them with me. I felt my speed slow, and then I stopped entirely. I opened my eyes and found myself mere feet above the ground.
“That's it!” Tink exclaimed gleefully. “You can fly!”
Chapter Four
Neverland was beautiful from above. A sparkling gem set upon a sea of blue velvet. I hovered hundreds of feet above it with Tinker Bell at my side and felt absurdly happy.
“This is amazing,” I said to her.
“I told you.” Tink nodded. “Positive thoughts and a little pixie dust can solve nearly any problem.”
“You're a very wise pixie,” I said softly. “And I'm thankful for you too. You've done a lot for the men and me.”
“Well, you needed someone to guide you.” She shrugged. “I was made to be helpful.”
“I can understand that,” I whispered as I looked back at Neverland. Then I grinned. “Want to dive bomb some mermaids?”
“What is 'dive bomb?'” She made a face at me.
“It's a term I picked up from the humans in the future,” I said. “It means to shoot downward through the air and fly by someone or something very fast so that you startle them.”
“That sounds fun!” She exclaimed. “Wait; humans of the future can fly?”
“They have metal conveyances that carry them through the air,” I explained.
Tink's eyes went wide and glassy, a look the men often wore when I tried to talk to them about what I'd seen in the pool.
