Killian's head swung around to face me and Raza.
“I spoke to him,” I said.
Killian's jaw dropped.
“We have come to an agreement,” Raza added. “Just before you arrived, actually. You're timing is impeccable.”
“An agreement?” Killian asked. His slit pupils enlarged until they looked nearly normal.
“This doesn't mean I'm going to jump into a relationship with you,” I said quickly. “It means that I will be open to one.”
“In the future,” Raza added. “For now, we focus on this elven threat. Then Seren and I shall be married. After we've settled into our marriage, we will see about consorts.”
“Seriously?” Killian began to smile.
“Seriously,” I nodded.
“Well then,” Killian's expression turned sweetly serious, “thank you, King Raza,” he held his chalice up to Raza.
“You're welcome,” Raza clicked Killian's glass. “Keep proving your worth to both me and Seren, and I won't regret my decision.”
“Hisdecision,” I rolled my eyes. “Okay, whatever.”
“So, uh,” Killian glanced out to Tiernan. “Is the White Knight over there a consort too?”
“He was added first,” Raza gleefully informed Killian. “When your name came up, things nearly fell apart.”
“You're not fooling anyone, dragon,” Killian huffed. “I know you love me.”
“I take it back,” Raza sighed. “I will definitely regret this.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
The scopes and arrows were taken to the armory for safekeeping. Their presence brightened spirits considerably, and the war ceased being such a hopeless, dark cloud looming on the horizon. The extinguishers had reports for me, straight from every Head Councilman of every Human Council House on Earth. Moire had not been seen, not even in Iceland. In fact, Iceland was quiet, the elves hadn't left their enclave at all.
I was surprised that Killian didn't push for more than the elusive promise Raza had given him, but Killian seemed content. They truly baffled me, these men who were willing to share. No, it was more than that, they were willing to share, despite the fact that they didn't want to. That deep down, they would have preferred to be in a relationship with me alone. I used to think that Tiernan's willingness to accept Raza meant that he loved me less. Now I saw the truth, that Tiernan loved me more than his own possessive instincts. And that love wasn't about possession at all.
You'd think that would be an easy concept to grasp. That love wasn't about possession. But don't most of us, down deep, feel that it is? Oh, you would never say it like that, but you wouldn't want your boyfriend sleeping with another girl either. We call it fidelity and trust, but what we really mean is that we own each other, just a little bit. A committed romantic relationship is usually centered around sexual fidelity. By saying I'm someone's girlfriend, I'm making an unspoken contract with him to not sleep with anyone else. This is possession, a lighter version of it, but that's what it is. And what would freedom mean? No commitment, no rules? I couldn't deal with that. Could you? So yes, a relationship is about possession. But love isn't.
I'm sure there are all kinds of forms which love can take, and, no doubt, possession is involved in several of them. That doesn't make it the soul of love, though. It's an aspect. A side effect. Maybe even a benefit. We get possessive because we fall in love. The love itself is not about being sexually faithful. It is simply an emotion. But it is a volatile one, easily influenced by other emotions and conditions. Being able to feel love purely, move beyond those other influences, and put aside the conditions they bring, well that is profound. Humbling even.
How I had wound up on the receiving end of such love from not one, butthreemen, is beyond me.
At the twilight hour the next morning, Killian came to Raza's door to bid me goodbye. We shared our first kiss. Our firstrealkiss, one beyond a mere pressing of lips. It should have felt wrong to kiss Killian with Raza lying a few feet away. But instead, it felt normal. It felt exciting. Kissing Killian was like wrapping your arms around a wild horse, you just hold tight and hope your strength will see you through it. Of course, a wild horse wouldn't excite me like Killian.
We ended up breaking apart rather savagely, distancing ourselves to stare, panting, at each other. I just gaped at him. That one taste had been enough to tell me how we'd be together. What making love to him would feel like. A roller coaster without restraints. A dive over a cliff into deep water. Thrilling and dangerous. Something which had the potential to change me irreparably. And not necessarily in a good way. But still, I wanted on that ride.
“I'll see you soon, Twilight,” Killian smiled and left.
“Is it wrong that I'm a little turned on from watching you?” Raza purred from the bed.
I turned to him in shock, to see his hand moving beneath the covers.
“Oh really?” I smirked, closing the door and locking it. “Starting to see the positive aspects of this situation, are we?”
I prowled to the bed, removing my clothes as I went.
“Oh yes,” Raza threw back the blankets and revealed just how positive he was feeling. “But I'd like a closer look.”
