“Are you doing okay?” she asked quietly.
It was clear in her tone that she was genuinely worried and loved Luca, even if it had once been a purely working relationship.
“I’m… I’m okay. I feel healthy. Different. But at the same time I’m… I don’t know. It’s like I’m where I’m supposed to be, you know?” He scratched my arm gently while cradling the phone between his shoulder and cheek.
I still hadn’t let go of him, and at that moment I knew that if I ever had to, it woulddevastateme.
“Okay, real talk. There’s something you need to consider whenever you’re ready. There’s no rush.” Then she grumbled, “Whatever the label might say, there’s no rush.”
Luca snorted again. “Yeah.”
“You need to decide what to do about your music career. Q is going to take a hiatus and figure out what his life is going to be from now on. He says he doesn’t want to be in Kaiju anymore.”
His shoulders slumped again. “Okay. That’s fair.”
“Mila… well, she says she wants to get back on her feet and maybe be a studio musician at best. She… she got really scared, Luca. The OD… it changed her.”
Luca inhaled slowly, then let the breath go. “Everything that’s happened….”
“Will’s parents… they wanted me to tell you they don’t blame you. That they knew what your stance on drugs was from the start.”
That made Luca cry in earnest. His shoulders shook as he wept.
I gently pried the phone from his hand. “Marissa? We’ll call you back in a bit.”
“Okay,” she said a bit wetly.
I ended the call, put the phone on the windowsill, and then scooped Luca up into my arms.
He curled into a ball and bawled as I held him tightly. I didn’t try for calming words, because I didn’t have any. So, I held him and hoped that I was helping just by being there for him. I listened to the house as I waited him out. Brodie and Kye went for a walk to do a perimeter check. Lina had spent the night at her house, since she didn’t live here officially—at least yet—and I knew she’d be arriving soon.
Maybe fifteen minutes later, Rian peered into the room and raised a brow at me. I wrinkled my nose a little, hoping to convey that I didn’t know what to do other than be exactly where I was.
“Luca, honey? Do you need me?” he asked gently but didn’t approach.
Luca shook his head and burrowed even closer to me.
“Okay. If that changes, just call out, I’ll be in my room with Cindy.” He closed the door, and we heard him talking to the cat.
A few more minutes passed and Luca started to finally relax again.
“Do you think…,” I started, then thought for a second before deciding to be brave and continued, “that maybe you should consider therapy?”
He chuckled and lifted his head to press a kiss to my jaw. “Yes. I bet Rian already has a therapist he’s vetted on hold just waiting for my call or something.”
I smiled and squeezed him tighter. “Well let’s get through this call with Marissa and then ask Rian, okay?”
“Okay.” He blew his nose and dried his face on another tissue, then took a deep breath and called her again.
They chatted about Luca’s new life and how he was feeling, but nothing about music was discussed. I felt like ever since he arrived, music hadn’t been on his radar at all.
“So, the label. They want some sort of a press thing to announce that the band is officially done.Ifthat’s what you decide.”
Luca sighed. “Okay. Well I can firmly say that the band is done. We wouldn’t be the same without Will and… yeah. I don’t want Kaiju anymore.” He pondered for a second, then said, “I want something small. Like….”
We waited him out; this was clearly something he wanted to get right.
“Can you tell them I’ll do a small press conference? They can have some photos, but I’ll get the final say on them.” The way his voice filled with steel at the end gave me a glimpse of the rock star he’d been just months ago.
