I sighed as I relaxed. The way there was this new, wilder being within me now, one that just thought about feeding and that was, on occasion, a bit scary, and felt… well, like a lot.
But something about Max especially made me feel more in control. Ben was unflappable, but I wasn’t sure if it was by design. I could count on them both, but something about Ben made me think he’d been “on” for too long.
Max, on the other hand, stepped up as soon as I needed something. Part of it was the hero worship thing, although by now he knew I was just as human as they were. He seemed to thrive in taking care of me. Not in a serving me kind of way, either.
The brothers were sort of fascinating to me, but I needed to tread carefully, because some of their hard truths might be too much to say out loud right now.
The next couple of days went pretty much the same, except Holden and Ben needed to work, and so Brodie visited Rian, Max, and me.
I knew it was a security thing, not that I felt unstable. But I also hadn’t met any humans yet and I knew that as the alpha of our pack, Brodie needed to see for himself. The fact remained that we had his mate Kye, Kye’s sister Carys, and her girlfriend Lina at the pack house. I loved them all and would’ve rather taken my own life than hurt any of them.
On my fourth day as a vampire, Rian sat next to me on the couch. Max was in the shower and Ben was still at work.
“Do you think you’re ready to go home?” Rian asked, holding my hands in his.
It struck me that I wasn’t sure what “home” meant anymore. He meant the pack house. It was his home, and for now, mine, too. The old Victorian in the woods they’d lovingly restored after years of mistreatment and ruin.
There were still things to do, but once we got rid of all the snow, Brodie and Lina would start to figure out the rest of the renovation. The main thing was the large sunroom on the back of the house, which I couldn’t help but to be excited about. It looked like it had a lot of potential, even boarded up and with a tarp covering missing panes in the glass ceiling.
I inhaled deeply, pondering on Rian’s question. I’d been feeding twice a day from my wolves. They were doing really well with the schedule and neither of them had had any negative effects. We didn’t think there would be any, as long as we made sure they had all the food they could eat and stayed hydrated.
But I needed to face the rest of the pack now.
“Is it different? Around humans?” I asked Rian.
His gaze unfocused a little as he searched for the answer. “I was turned in a different time….” He grimaced. “I didn’t have choices or anyone to teach me how to be a vampire.”
Ah.He’d told me he’d done bad things in the beginning. He’d been unstable, but I couldn’t blame him. With how I’d felt immediately after waking up, without the love and supportfrom Rian and the brothers, I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done. How I’d ended up being. The hunger had been like an animal awakening inside me.
The only reason I was doing so well was because of the love, support, and understanding of my people.
I rolled my shoulders “Can you call Brodie for me?”
Smiling, Rian grabbed his phone off the coffee table.
We waited three rings, then Brodie’s voice came through. “What’s up, sweetness?”
I smiled at the nickname. They were the epitome of a platonic, loving friendship between two queer men and I couldn’t have loved that more.
“You’re on speaker with me and Luca,” Rian started.
“Oh, hey. What can I do for you gents?” I could hear the fondness in Brodie’s tone.
I cleared my throat. Rian put his hand on my thigh and squeezed.
“What do you think about me coming home?” I asked in a rush.
With my enhanced hearing, I caught a soft little huff from our alpha.
“Luca, if you think you’re ready, then you’re ready. Now, that’s not to say I won’t do everything in my power to protect the human members of the pack.”
“That… that seems fair.” My brain provided me a brief flash of flying into a wall while Brodie growled at me in front of the humans after throwing me. “Uh… can we try?”
This time the gentle amusement was clear when he replied, “Come home. If you feel unsteady, Holden won’t mind you staying at the house for a while longer.”
“Okay. We’ll gather our stuff and come home once Ben is off work,” I said, even though I was still hesitant.
“Good deal. See you later.” Then he added, “Luca? You’ll be fine.”
