“Did she ever veto anything?”
I grinned. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Theo chuckled, then got serious again. “Whatever you need, buddy, you know that, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Just…come back. It doesn’t matter if it takes a bit of time, but come back.”
“I will.”
* * * *
Rey came downstairs, looking dejected. Somehow, he knew already, and nobody had had time to go tell him.
Lake had gone back to bed and Theo was at the stable.
“When?” Rey asked, moving to sit on the stool he always chose.
“This afternoon.”
He took in a deep breath and held it in, then exhaled loudly. “Okay.”
“You know why—”
“No, Jack. I don’t want to hear it, okay? Not now, and not ever.” A new kind of steel that bordered on coldness slid over his beautiful face. “I know why; of course I fucking do. It changes nothing though.”
He got off the stool and walked to where I was whisking eggs for omelets.
He took my hand and pulled me to the middle of the kitchen, then reached up to wrap his fingers behind my neck and tugged me lower.
“I know I won’t be able to do this at New Year’s,” he said, giving me enough time to pull away, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
As if frozen to the spot, I let him press his lips against mine. Then he surprised me by nipping at my lower lip. Hard.
Enough for the thin skin to split. I hissed and pulled away.
There was a savage sort of pleasure in his eyes before he hid it again. I got it; he’d wanted to hurt me like I was hurting him. He’d needed me to have a physical reminder.
I was so fucking close to telling him I loved him, but I could tell he knew. He didn’t need me to bethatcruel right now.
“I’m going to go upstairs. Ask someone to bring me my food.” He turned to go, but then stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. I could see the tears brimming in his eyes and hated myself for what I was about to do.
Without saying anything more, he took one long look at me as if he was memorizing me like I was memorizing him, and then retreated up the stairs.
* * * *
I didn’t see Rey again that day. Even when I grabbed my toiletry kit from our shared bathroom, his door was firmly closed and I heard nothing from behind it.
For a moment, I wanted to knock, just to see him one more time before I escaped this situation, but I couldn’t do that to either of us.
The feeling in the house was somber. Mona cried when she heard I was going.
“Don’t worry, Rey and Lake make really good scrambly eggs, too,” I teased her gently.
“But nobody gives the same h-hugs,” she hiccupped, then cried even harder.
I don’t know why it shook me so much to hear that. I was more than my cooking to her. The fact that she valued my hugs more than my cooking drove in the point that maybe I didn’t always see my value as clearly as I thought I did.
