“What happened?” he asked, then quickly added, “You don’t need to go into detail if you don’t want to.”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “I know.” I cleared my throat. Suddenly Rey’s hand was on my thigh. I put mine on top of his and just considered what to tell.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “You never have to tell me anything you don’t want.”
I smiled a little, then squeezed his fingers again. “It was actually on our day off. We were driving to a bar in…let’s say undisclosed location.” I chuckled wryly. “Now, you’re always prepared at least on some level for IEDs and such when you’re driving in a hostile environment. What we didn’t expect was a tractor in the middle of the road behind a sharp turn of a mountain road.”
Rey hissed. “Oh man, that sounds bad.”
“It could’ve been worse. We were in a jeep, so there was very little to protect us from any damage. We didn’t have any gear on either.” I took a deep breath. “I hit my head when the jeep rolled. One of my friends broke an arm and some ribs. Those were the biggest injuries. At least we weren’t that high on the mountain and there wasn’t a long way for the car to roll.”
His mouth opened into anOas he considered what I’d said. “Yeah, I can imagine. Holy shit.”
“Either way, I got a traumatic brain injury, which made them medically discharge me when it became obvious I wouldn’t heal to their standards. It got better over the years, but I still have some issues. They just don’t really bother me much.”
We were getting close to the Walmart, so I kept talking. “The biggest thing I really have left from my time in the service is a hint of PTSD that just randomly pops up.”
“What triggers it?” Rey asked, still hanging onto my every word.
“Loud noises,” I replied, turning into the parking lot and slowing down to circle in the hopes of finding a spot. “It doesn’t matter what kind, either. No rhyme nor reason.Andit happens so rarely it’s always a surprise.” I grinned at him briefly. “But the kicker is what happens when it gets triggered.”
Rey looked at me wide-eyed. “What’s that?”
“I freeze. I just…lose control over my body in a way that makes me just stand or sit there, and I can’t move anything but my eyes until it passes.”
He gasped. “That sounds horrible!”
“It’s not pleasant.” I found a spot toward and edge of the lot and parked. “But hey, at least I look like this. People aren’t likely to mess with me.”
“Gods, yeah. Oh man.” Rey blinked and looked around, as if he had just woken up from a dream or something. Then he sheepishly pulled his hand back from my thigh. “Okay.”
“And we’re here.” I turned to him and took both of his hands in mine so he’d pay attention to me. “I’ll try to be quick. I need the s’mores ingredients and the fire pit. If the fire pit doesn’t take long to find, I’m going to grab a couple of extra food items, but otherwise I’ll just do the bare minimum to keep this as short as possible.”
Rey took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “Okay. Okay.”
He looked so damn small and scared, that I instinctively shrugged off my jacket and pushed it into his lap. “In case you need something to hide in.”
He gave me this heartbreaking, wavery little smile that broke my heart all over again.
“You’re so damn brave,” I whispered. I didn’t even think about it, I just lifted one of his hands and kissed the back of it, then felt awkward as fuck and quickly let go, before exiting the car. I tried not to jog into the store.
I pushed aside the realization of the tenderness I felt blooming inside my chest whenever I was near Rey now. I didn’t need that complication.
Besides, I felt like he and Madden had something going on, and if anything, that was the thing I should try to nourish. Both boys were at that point where first partners were supposed to be around the same age, there should be awkward fumbling and developing feelings that gave them something to work with when they reached adulthood.
“Oh, excuse me,” a harried-looking middle-aged woman said, as she almost walked into me.
“No problem, Ma’am.” I grabbed a cart and made my way to where I knew they had the fire pits.
The way there was rough, but when I got to the correct part of the store, it was as if I’d been pushed out of a bottleneck.
I so wished Rey had told us about this s’more thing before today for sure.
It took all the patience I had to get everything I needed. I concentrated so hard on making sure I got everything as quickly as possible, that I didn’t look at the time until I was pushing my cart toward Toby’s SUV.
“Shit!” I’d been gone for over thirty minutes.
I awkwardly dodged a guy in an old sedan and stopped the cart behind the SUV. When I didn’t see Rey on the front seat, I knew it was bad.
