“Well then. Like I said, to each their own.”
“Aww, buddy, are you a romantic?” He put his fists under his chin and batted his lashes at me.
“No, but I’m also not into one-night stands.”
“This might be a two-night stand though.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that makes all the difference.”
Once Edgar left, I continued to lounge and tried to read, but what he’d said made me think.
Sierra had emailed me about how clearly Theo was falling in love with Lake and vice versa. I felt happy for my buddy. Theo had been struggling with relationships for as long as I’d known him. He’d once said he didn’t get the fuss. If he was finally falling for someone who seemed kind and good, there weren’t many better things in life than that.
Me, though…well, I wasn’t much for relationships. I’d told Edgar I wasn’t into one-night stands, but it didn’t mean I never had them. I was pansexual but likely homoromantic, and I hadn’t been in a proper adult relationship since…a long time ago.
First, my family stuff had prevented me from having an actual healthy relationship model in my life. Then, I’d concentrated on survival, first in the foster care system, then in the Army. I’d hooked up during deployments with other queer soldiers, but there hadn’t been anyone special.
When things went to shit on one leave and I ended up with a medical discharge from service after a traumatic brain injury, well, I guess I wasn’t in the best place for relationships then, either.
I was twenty-five when I was healed enough that I could go to culinary school, and then I started working pretty much immediately. I had some attempts at dating, but I sucked at it, so there was that.
The dating culture made really little sense to me for some reason, and I tended to be interested in people who I got to know more organically. Like fellow soldiers I spent a lot of time with or, once I started to work in catering and restaurants, other people in that industry.
I did date the barista from my local coffee shop when I lived in Chicago at one point, but then she moved and we lost touch.
I was pretty sure I’d never been in love though, which was interesting to realize at thirty-six.
Since there was reception, my phone was next to me for once. When it buzzed with a call from my brother Jude, I raised my brows, because we didn’t talk often at all. “Hey, Jude, what’s up?”
“Jack, I think I found him.”
Immediately, the book dropped from my lap as I sat up, rubbing my hand over my face.
“Y-you did?”
“Yeah. I’m in Boston, and a guy I talked to at a shelter told me that someone looking just like me has been coming around sometimes in the last few months.”
The tone of Jude’s voice was a terrible thing. It was filled with longing and hope, and so fucking much fear that I wanted to be in Boston to hug him right then.
“Do you need me to come?”
“No, no, I got this, big brother. I’ll keep you posted, okay? I just…don’t tell anyone else yet, okay? In case…”
In case Danny had moved on, and Jude lost his trail again.
“I’ll send you some money.” Before he could object, I used the line I had a few times before. “He’s my brother too, Jude. Besides, if Rhiannon knew, she’d insist to send you some and she can’t afford it. I can.”
“Okay, okay…I…thanks. I’ll rent a car or get a hotel for once.”
“Get both. And something good to eat, baby brother. Seriously.”
He tried to sound annoyed without much success. “I’m not a kid, Jack. I’m thirty.”
“And you’ll always be my kid brother.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
I heard chatting from the dock, so I knew the peace was gone again. “I love you. Keep me posted.”
