Chapter 13
River
Spilling a secret you’ve kept for so long hurts as much as it brings relief. I felt like the words came out of my throat, pulling tiny cheese graters behind them, and I was surprised I didn’t see blood spilling out with them.
I’d been assaulted a couple of times since Mr. Harries, but nobody else had made me feel terror like he had in that moment. I’d somehow been sure he’d kill me right there. Yet somehow, after he let me go and told me to go enjoy my final day with my best friend, I’d pulled myself together and gone to do just that.
It was the last truly summer day I had for years. Of course, I’d tried to come back once more, but the way he’d glared at me and the way Mrs. Harries had sided with him had struck me. But not as much as Ben’s confused, upset gaze when they ushered him upstairs and closed the door in my face.
Because I’d known then he was lost to me forever. The first boy I’d ever loved, who was more important to me than anyone.
I had a boyfriend at the time, too. It wasn’t fair for him to be the second choice. But he didn’t know, because he was a teenager and didn’t look at things that carefully. We were good together for a while in the way teenage relationship sometimes are but grew apart in the end without any real drama.
Yet I’d never grieved for him the same way I had grieved for my best friend. Because even at sixteen, I’d known Ben was my person. Even if he couldn’t see it and might not even swing my way, I’d known.
Ben’s outrage at the assault, and the fact that he’d used that word for what had happened, meant everything to me. Not once did he ask if I was sure about anything, nor did he seem to think his father “would never” in a way most people might. Somehow, Ben knew his father was capable of things most people didn’t ever see; lucky them.
Despite his trouble with humans in some sense, Ben could be incredibly perceptive to the things people sometimes hid very well. He’d called our math teacher’s alcoholism before anyone else suspected it. When I’d asked how he did it, he’d shrugged and said she was shifty. Not that I’d noticed.
He also paid attention to details around him more carefully than most. He recalled things in ways that seemed almost impossible to me.
This morning, after I woke up in his arms, I’d felt that sort of contentment that could only come from knowing that the man I loved had told me he loved me back. I didn’t know how we’d manage to mesh our lives together, but we’d do it somehow.
I felt like we needed to spend time together, and if our jobs had allowed, I would’ve suggested a getaway to somewhere private.
As lovely as the house was, it didn’t feel like we had any privacy there.
I concentrated back on Hope, who didn’t mind my wandering mind in the least. She was happy to be working, it seemed. I glanced over toward the round pen, where Truce was eating hay, while occasionally lifting his head to make sure his sister was still accounted for.
I’d been on a horse before, both as a kid a few times and here at the rescue. It hadn’t been enough for me to feel instantly comfortable, and when Lake mentioned cantering, I knew I wasn’t ready for that. But trotting, sure.
Lake clicked his tongue, and suddenly I was bouncing up and down in the saddle. I laughed, the feeling of being slightly off balance for a second making the sound startled. Then I realigned myself, remembered everything I’d learned so far, and settled into the saddle.
Sure, it was a bit bumpy and slow, making it a strange experience until my body realized that it was okay and safe to move in this way.
I was about to look back to see how Ben was faring on Salem, when I heard his laughter carry to me. Instead of looking, I smiled and continued to concentrate on my own task.
He sounded so happy and carefree, as if he’d somehow broken through the initial fear he’d felt when Theo had asked if we wanted to ride.
A few minutes later, Theo deemed us ready to try riding without being led, if we wanted.
“I’d rather not,” Ben said nervously. “If that’s okay?”
“That’s why I gave you the choice, so of course it is.”
“I can lead you if Theo wants to instruct River.” Lake unclipped Hope and then I was on my own.
They did the swap, and Theo put his rope over his shoulder, then walked closer to me.
“All right, are you ready for some moves?”
I grinned, feeling excited. “Teach me,senpai.”
Theo chuckled, shook his head, and told me to gather the reins a bit more. “It would be better to do this sort of thing in an English saddle, but we’ll go with the western one for now. Besides, she doesn’t know much either, so we’ll just go with your combined skill level.”
I patted Hope’s light gray neck. “Did you take that as a slight, girl? Because it sure sounded like one to me.”
Theo grinned at us. “Now, can you see the letters on the fence posts?” At my affirmative, he pointed at the closest to me. “You’re coming to the H, now, try to make as big of a circle as you can while you pass C and M, and come right past me on your way back to H.”
