As I watched him walk toward me again, I wondered if I could keep him.
I moved to sit against the headboard, then changed my mind and turned around so River could do that and I could still see his face. Once we were settled, I took in a deep breath.
“Say it,” he murmured, sounding dejected.
“I don’t want to end this, whatever we are,” I said firmly. “That’s not…” I felt like fidgeting, but I needed to stay still for this.
River looked dubious but nodded. “Okay. Then what is it?”
As per usual, I blurted the words out even though I should’ve taken a less direct approach. “What’s wrong between you and my dad?”
It was as if I’d shocked him with electricity. A jolt went through him, and I immediately knew it was bad.
“I…” He looked anywhere but at me, clearly uncomfortable and spooked.
I reached out to put my hand on his thigh. “Whatever it is, we can handle it, okay? I promise.”
He made a face at me saying I promised. He knew how much that word meant to me.
“The problem is,” he started, then stopped and grimaced before lifting his gaze to meet mine. “I think it’s something that will shake your foundations, and I don’t want that for you.”
I shook my head. “River, no. Whatever it is, it has to have happened back then, right?”
He nodded slowly. “Yes.” He looked away again. “But it might still have ramifications.”
“For you?”
“No. And that’s the most awful part of this.” He tugged at his hair, making it stand up in places.
He was getting distressed, and I hated that. I was still mostly worried about him. “Please, tell me, okay? Just…get it off your chest.”
He pulled his knees to his chest and sat there, staring at the window. When he spoke, he sounded like he was far away somehow. “Two days before the last time I came to your house, we were going to swim in your pool. Remember that?”
“Yeah.” My mom had decided the pool was a drowning hazard or I could slip and hit my head or something, and it had been filled with concrete before the end of the summer.
“I was going to run around the house when I got there, but instead, I decided to go use your bathroom first. So I went in the front door. I knew your mom wasn’t at home so it would be okay.”
I nodded encouragingly. She’d had her final book club meeting that day. That was why we were going to swim, because it felt so oppressive having her constantly hovering. “I remember.”
“I went into the downstairs bathroom, and when I came out, I heard your dad on the phone.” His lip wobbled a little. “I didn’t want to disturb him, he was in his study, but…”
“You had to walk past it to get to the back door.”
He nodded, and a tear slipped down his cheek. “H-He…I can’t remember the exact words anymore. I don’t want to. But I heard him talk to…to some woman. It was…explicit.”
For a moment, my brain halted. Then my jaw dropped. “He was having an affair?”
As if he hadn’t heard me, River continued, “I must’ve gasped. I’d never heard anyone talk like that. He heard me, and then he was out the door and slamming me against the wall by my throat.” He started to sob, tears falling rapidly, wetting his cheeks. “H-He told me to keep my mouth shut.”
I felt blank still, but my brain started to connect the dots. As much as I didn’t want to think about it, I could see my father being capable of something like that. Both the affair and assaulting a teenager to keep his secret.
“Then what happened?” I prompted, nudging his foot with my fingers.
An audible sob escaped him, and he lifted his gaze to meet mine. “He told me it was the last day I’d ever see you, so I should make the most of it, and that he’d make sure your mom wouldn’t let me in ever again.”
I moved fast, then. I crawled over to him and pulled him into my arms. “Never again, River. You hear me? He’s never going to separate us again.”
“B-But it’s your dad—”
