“Hey,” I croaked.
“Hi, River,” he replied, beaming at me. Then he squinted at the screen. “You look flushed. Are you okay?”
I let out a short bark of laughter. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I couldn’t meet his eyes.
He was quiet and I could see him tilting his head. Then suddenly understanding filled his expression and he blushed. “Uh, were you…uh…”
I hung my head and groaned. “Yeah.”
He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Well, you know you didn’t have to answer while you were in the middle of something.”
“Right at the end of something,” I murmured sourly.
Another beat of silence, then, “Oh.Oh.”
Chapter 10
Ben
I felt like I was leaving something behind when I sat on that plane going back to Pennsylvania. The new, adult connection we’d been making was something I hadn’t expected but already cherished.
And then, just like that, I had to leave.
My dad’s health was tricky. The early warning sign that had been misdiagnosed had led to a massive heart attack due to some issue or other. I didn’t want to memorize the details of what the doctors said, purely because I knew it would lead to obsessing about the what ifs of the situation.
Dad was weak, which was hard to see, but Mom had everything under control by the time she told me to go back to my actual home. Except, now home felt like a certain rescue in Illinois and my brain had a hard time accepting that. Not because I was feeling negative, but because it was so unexpected, and my mind needed time to adjust to certain things.
And then I worked, a lot, and stayed in touch with River much less than I would’ve wanted. For weeks. Until one night, feeling exhausted and worn out from waiting to hear from the publisher’s rep about Ruth and Lake’s book, I video-called River.
He’d looked flushed and he was panting a little, and it took me much too long to realize what he’d been doing.
“You have makeup on,” I blurted out, because what else could I say? Probably a million things, but my brain pushed away the implications of my realization.
“Yeah,” he said. He exhaled and chuckled under his breath, then looked at me. “I need to wash it all off before I go to sleep.”
“Do you use makeup often?” I was sure I’d seen him with eyeliner and maybe lip gloss or something like that, but not as much as what he had on today.
“Not really. On my days off sometimes.” He still looked a bit uncomfortable.
I took a deep breath, considered for a moment, and then exhaled. “Do you want to…I mean…”
His gaze snapped to mine through the small screen. “What?”
I spoke quickly, before I could chicken out. “Do you want to continue what you were doing, just, with me here, watching?”
River’s mouth opened, his jaw working a bit as he processed my question. “Uh…”
“Only if you want to.”
“But doyouwant to?” He looked serious and concerned, and while I adored him for that, he’d clearly forgotten something.
“When have I ever suggested something I didn’t mean?” I asked dryly, raising a brow at him.
He laughed, the sound jolting my chest like those paddles they used in the hospital.
“Okay.” He looked at me fondly. “How much do you want to see?”
I frowned, thinking for a moment. “Uh, maybe mostly waist up?” Then I quickly added, “This time.”
