“Seriously, Lake. Where were you?”
“I was sleeping next to someone who I’ve actually communicated with about our relationship.”
I inhaled sharply. That…hurt.
“What did you think? That I’d found a guy and went hooking?” He threw over his shoulder, then winced when he saw my expression. “Look, I’m sorry—”
“No, no it’s…” I deflated and leaned against the doorframe. “I’m sorry. It’s uncalled for. I just…”
“I know. I’m sorry for snapping.”
When we were still escorting, one of our friends had gone to a remote cabin with a client who proceeded to beat him up and leave him there. The cleaning crew found him in time, but we’d never looked at safety the same way again.
I felt tears trying to push through my restraint. “Hug it out?”
Lake held out his arms, and I walked into them, then chuckled a bit wetly when I realized he was only wearing his underwear.
“I cuddled with Theo all night,” he whispered.
Sniffling, I asked, “How was it?”
The way he sighed was so telling, I snickered.
“It was so…safe.”
I squeezed him hard and long. Neither of us had much experience with that sort of thing. He was lucky and deserving, and I wanted him to know it.
“Funnily enough,” I murmured in a tone that suggested it wasn’t funny at all. “Everything about what Benji represented to me was unsafe. Scary. Yet I couldn’t stop wanting to get close to him.”
“Then tell him.”
“I think he’s straight, Lake. I think he…” I exhaled loudly and stepped back from him. “I know you have to work with him and he’s going to be here for a while. I’ll try to figure it out, okay?”
“If you need to, I’ll tell him you need more time before you can actually explain. Just…until then, try to chill?” Lake grinned teasingly, trying to cheer me up.
I chuckled and blushed. “I’ll try.”
“Okay. Now shoo, go make me coffee while I shower.”
I saluted him and left the room. Everything was better for a moment. At least until I’d have to face Ben at breakfast.
Chapter 4
Ben
I don’t know why it hurt so much to be so out of tune with River. I mean, it was clear we were different, grown-up people now, but still.
Something about how he acted around me made me feel achy on the inside in a way I didn’t recognize.
I’d tried to talk to him, but when he said I brought up some bad memories, I…gave up, I guess. For one, I didn’t want him to feel bad about anything, but I also didn’t want to push him if it brought him pain.
What Ididwant was for him to talk to me properly, tell me what had happened in the decade or so since we’d last seen each other. Not the polite small talk he’d provided when I’d gone to his room, but a real conversation.
I also wanted to ask if he’d missed me as much as I realized I’d missed him. The kicker was that I hadn’t known how much exactly I missed him until he was right there, out of reach despite being so close.
The morning after my arrival, I almost didn’t want to go downstairs. I made myself presentable, going somewhere in the middle in chinos and a dress shirt, because Lake had told me this was more of a casual sort of place.
I ran my fingers through my hair and thought about having it cut soon, but that meant finding someone to cut it for me and that could wait.
