I chuckled tiredly. “I didn’t expect to see you either.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, and he adjusted the black framed glasses on his face. Another still somehow familiar gesture of nerves.
“I just…Why did you run?” he asked in a tone I couldn’t read. “We were friends, weren’t we?”
It fucking broke my heart that he was questioningthatof all things.
“Benji, of course we were friends.”
His whole body relaxed, and he nodded to himself. I remembered that gesture, too. Self-soothing. Much later, while I was studying, I realized that Ben might’ve been on the spectrum. It hadn’t been something I thought of when we knew each other in the past, because I hadn’t cared. He’d been my friend Ben who had some peculiar habits, the cutest face I’d ever seen, and the most rewarding little giggle I could ever hear. I’d strived to hear that giggle as often as possible.
Of course, that was where the real problem had risen, back then.
“Then why would you run?”
And there it was. The question I couldn’t really answer. Not now, and possibly not ever.
“It was shock, I guess.”
He shook his head. “But not the good kind; I got that loud and clear.”
I winced. He wasn’t wrong there. “Seeing you brought back a lot of memories from those times. Not all of them were nice.”
This time he looked at me right in the eye. “Is it going to be bad for you that I’m here?”
This man. I couldn’t…”No,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound as choked up as I felt. “It’s going to be okay.” Then I realized I could use this to my advantage. “But I might need some distance, okay?”
He mulled this over in his head, before nodding solemnly. “Okay.” Pushing to his feet, he walked to the door. Then, without looking back, he said, “I’ve missed you. A lot.”
I didn’t have time to reply before the door closed behind him.
I was going to be in so much trouble.
* * * *
During dinner, Rey seemed confused but curious, Lake was clearly annoyed at me for not taking part in the conversation, and Ben just seemed a bit sad.
“So, Ben, you’re from the same town in Pennsylvania that River is from?” Lake asked while we ate.
Ben took a sip of his water, then nodded. “Yeah, we grew up there but went to different schools until high school.”
“Were you a jock?” Rey asked, taking the initiative in a way he’d started to do here but rarely had in New York.
Ben snorted. “No, definitely not.”
“Neither was I.” I smiled slightly when Rey rolled his eyes at me.
“You were half a jock,” Ben said quietly, smiling without making eye contact with me. It had been our own joke, back then.
I cleared my throat. “I ran track and played soccer some. Luckily, I wasn’t good enough in either and I was allowed to hang out in the library more often than not.”
Ben glanced at me, his eyes filled with something I thought might’ve been hope.
“Did you two date each other?” Rey asked, reading the tension in the room.
My face heated, I was suddenly fifteen again and in love with my best friend.
“No. I…uh…I don’t…” Ben was even more red in the face, avoiding looking at any of us.
