“What?”
In a teasing tone, he said, “First kittens, then maybe the dogs. Soon he’ll be ready to meet the goats.”
“Maybe we’ll even get him on a horse if he’s here long enough,” I joked.
Something changed in Theo’s expression then, and he went back to Izzy, his concentration fully on the horse. What had I said?
Chapter 18
Theo
I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly so afraid. Before, I’d have gone to Ruth to talk it out, and she would’ve given me her wisdom. I couldn’t even talk to Hudson, because he was technically working for the rescue and for Lake, too, which meant I could easily cross the boundary between what he could and couldn’t talk about.
Of course, there was Seb, but we’d never been that close, and I didn’t want to take that step with something like this. That basically left Jules, who I adored but who could be a bit of a clown because of their own issues, and Sierra.
I hadn’t known how to express myself in a constructive way while we worked with Izzy and the twins, so I’d stayed mute. Ruth had always said it was my defense mechanism, I’d keep quiet so I wouldn’t say the wrong thing.
Putting Izzy and the drafts together in the arena had been fun, but it had also been an easy way to avoid conversation because we needed to stay completely concentrated on the horses. As I’d thought, Izzy tried to be the big man, but Hope quickly showed him not to mess with a mare, and Truce followed his sister’s lead and made sure Izzy learned how to act around heavier horses who would take no crap.
In the long run, being around the twins would teach Izzy how to be a regular horse, and it would give Truce the opportunity to not be at the bottom of the herd like he was with his sister. I was pretty sure Hope would love to have another gelding to boss around as well. Not that she had a mean bone in her body, it was natural behavior that was very welcome. I also hoped that Izzy, who was fearless, would help Truce see things weren’t so scary, even when there were noises around the farm.
We put the three horses in the biggest paddock together, and I mumbled something about needing to talk to Sierra, before escaping to the office.
She was elbow deep in paperwork, while intermittently checking the computer screen, too.
“If this is a bad time—”
“If you say that, it’s gonna be something important, so why don’t you go grab a drink from the fridge and bring me one, too, while you wait for me to have a moment.” She hadn’t even lifted her gaze.
I chuckled and went to the tiny kitchenette.
There was a small bedroom and bathroom beyond the office that had probably meant to become a living area before Ruth bought the trailer home and made it into the headquarters of Twin Star.
Nobody lived in there now, but it could be useful for extra space, a guestroom of sorts, if we ever had more people. With the way the place was filling up, who knew. Then my brain helpfully reminded me that the guys had been here for a month or so, and we had two months left. After that it was all up in the air.
I took the drinks to the corner where a small coffee table and a loveseat were crammed in between a bookshelf and some filing cabinets. I sat and sighed, then took my ballcap off and scratched my scalp absently. I felt itchy, but not in a physical way.
I opened my Coke and took a sip. I needed the caffeine and sugar to keep me going until the evening with how my mind was being a bitch.
“Seb stopped by on his way out. He says the newbies are doing well.”
“Yeah, and Poppy is coming in an about an hour on her way home. She had a job somewhere on the other side of town.”
“And by town you mean Joliet so that could be anywhere,” she teased as she sat down next to me and cracked open her Diet Dr. Pepper.
“Yes.” I didn’t even have the will to smile, so I leaned back and closed my eyes, then sighed.
“What’s going on, Theo?” She took my free hand and gave it a squeeze.
I squeezed back and sighed some more. “I think I might be falling in love with Lake and I’m fucking terrified he’ll decide to leave in two months.”
Sierra’s hand jerked in mine and when I opened my eyes, she seemed taken aback. “I’ve clearly missed something, but whoa boy am I glad it’s gotten this serious.” She smiled. “To begin with, I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you feel those things, Theo.”
She didn’t need to add that my friends had been worried I’d never find anyone that clicked like that. They’d also told me there was nothing wrong with never finding someone, or not wanting to or not feeling the urge to have a romantic relationship, but I’d always hoped. I wasn’t aromantic.
“Uh…yeah. Except…terrified.” I frowned at her, then sipped my drink.
“Okay, okay…well, have you thought about talking to him about it?”
