I quickly went to the kitchen and picked up Tonya. I didn’t know where to put her, so I pulled open the cabinet under the sink and took out one of the clean towels Bear kept there. He always had one over his shoulder when he was cooking, which he said was extremely helpful in many ways.
Now, I took one of them and wrapped Tonya in it quickly, then I went and put her in the closet where we kept extra outerwear.
Sighing, I patted the bundle before closing the door again. I fucking hated this. I really hoped the people who could fix toys could make her better.
I poured a tall glass of water and carried it to my room. I put it on the empty bedside table and pulled back the covers. When I turned to go get Bear, my gaze locked onto Elio’s picture on top of the dresser. We’d been married for over three years, yet I was pretty sure he’d never made me feel as needed as I did every day around Bear.
I took the frame and put it into the right-side top drawer where some items of his still were. I’d empty it at some point soon. I just hadn’t gotten to it. I realized now how very little I felt anymore and that felt… if not scary, then uncomfortable.
I closed the drawer and went to Bear’s room.
“You ready?”
He was sitting on his bed, appearing sad and tiny. “Uh-huh.”
“Give me your pillow and go brush your teeth and pee. Then come to my room.”
He didn’t look at me when he pushed the pillow into my hands and went to the bathroom he used the most.
My phone dinged.
I stared at the message and couldn’t help but to chuckle. Jesus, my friends were gossips.
It was from Mal.
“Robbie called. Jamie overheard and wants to ask if Bear needs to borrow Mr. Rabbit. He won’t go to bed if I don’t ask.”
I texted back. “Five minutes.”
I heard the toilet flush and sat on the edge of my bed. Bear padded into the room in his pajama pants and T-shirt, clearly exhausted on a bone deep level.
“I’m ready.”
“Okay. Well, we got a message from your friend,” I said, lifting the phone.
He frowned. “Who?”
“Turns out Daddies are gossips and Robbie called Mal and Jamie heard what happened, and now Jamie won’t go to sleep until he knows if you want to borrow Mr. Rabbit.”
Bear blinked rapidly a few times, his face went through so many emotions that I couldn’t quite decipher them.
“He’s sweet,” he finally mumbled, coming closer. “Really sweet. A good friend. But I think Mr. Rabbit is his and he should keep him.”
I got to my feet and kissed his forehead. “Okay, baby boy. I’m proud of you.”
He seemed confused, but then tiredness took over and he shrugged before going around the bed and climbing under the covers.
“Drink half of the water before you go to sleep,” I instructed as I sent Mal a message.
I plugged my phone into the charger I had on my bedside table and looked at Bear. He was putting the glass back on his side and momentarily a part of me found it weird that he wasn’t using two hands like a kid would.
He curled up on his side facing me, obviously exhausted.
“I’ll go brush my teeth and be right with you, okay?”
“Yup.” He blinked so sleepily I wasn’t sure if he’d be awake when I got back.
It was hours before my usual bedtime and his too, but that didn’t matter. He was, indeed, asleep when I climbed into bed in my underwear and didn’t seem to mind it when I picked up my book and read for an hour or so. He made the cutest sounds in his sleep, snuffling a little every now and then.
