“This is the best pulled pork I’ve ever had, Bear.” I nudged his foot with mine under the table. “Thank you so much for making it for us.”
His blush faded, but he seemed incredibly pleased.
We didn’t talk; the food was too good for that. Instead, I tried to see the Bear I’d gotten out of Carl’s place in this man sitting across from me. It was even more obvious now that I’d known him for a while—short as that while had been—how absolutely miserable he’d been that night.
“Can I ask you something?” I found myself asking.
I immediately wanted to kick myself because I knew what my question was and I shouldn’t have, not now at least.
“Yeah, of course.” He peered at me curiously.
“You have every right not to answer, by the way. I won’t be upset or anything, I just—”
“I know, Sir. I read the thing you sent me.” He smiled cheekily. Right, it had been on the list.
“Right.” I felt like blushing now. “It’s about something serious though, so….” I cleared my throat. “When I got you from Carl’s, I…. It was not hard to notice that he’d been using your mouth right before you came to open the door.”
Bear looked down at his plate and speared a piece of tomato that had escaped his bread with his fork. He nodded slowly. “I think it was a power play of sorts.”
“Yeah, I thought it might’ve been. My question is, did you like it before that night? I mean, it was also obvious that you hadn’t enjoyed it and a lot of subs love being used like that, I just….” I didn’t knowwhywas asking, but I was curious. At least that was what I tried to tell myself. Damn it.
Bear didn’t answer immediately. He stared at his plate still, tilted his head as he thought it over.
“I think I liked it once. I mean, giving head is fine still, I assume I’d like it a lot with the right person, but the being used thing….” He trailed off and sighed. “I don’t know. When Carl did it, it felt like a punishment or a power play. Like he used me so others would see I’d been used hard.”
I felt disgusted. I understood that kind of play, of course I did. I’d seen it countless of times. But knowing Carl and how he liked to operate, I was certain he wouldn’t have thought about Bear’s enjoyment at all.
“That’s what I thought,” I admitted. “It’s… difficult for me to see anyone treated like that. These relationships, whether they’re as short as one scene or as long as a 24/7 arrangement, should always be good for both parties. Of course people can’t always be perfect and mistakes happen to anyone, but it’s still….” I sighed and grimaced. “You know.”
“Safe, sane, and consensual, I know.” Bear’s smile was sad. “One time Carl told me he liked me because I was malleable. I think he meant inexperienced and naïve.”
I wanted to hurt Carl.
“That’s pretty likely. I despise people like him.”
We finished eating and Bear insisted on doing the dishes.
“I need to make a call, but if you want, we can hang out after?” I asked hopefully.
He brightened visibly. “Oh, sure. Should we watch something after we take a look at those lists?”
“Absolutely. You pick?”
Smiling, he replied, “I can do that.”
I went to my room and closed the door behind me. Then I called Sara.
“Hey, Boss, what’s going on?” they asked, sounding worried, likely because I didn’t really call them this late.
“I have a favor to ask,” I started. I sat on my bed and wondered how to phrase this.
“Okay? Whatever you need, you know that, Luukas.”
“Your friend, Iris, she still around?”
Sara hissed. “Ah, yeah, she is. Am I going to want to know why you need to talk to her?”
“Nope, not really.”
