I expected a quip from Luke, but instead, he pushed me through a door and said nothing.
When I turned around to him, he was about to close the door behind us. Then he stopped and glanced at me.
He grimaced and nodded toward the rest of the shop. “I’m sorry, did you want to…?”
I blinked, then realized what he was asking. “Oh, oh no. I mean, they’re probably really nice, but I’m not… you know… looking?” Besides, Sara intimidated the hell out of me and that wasn’t one of my kinks. Well, at least not like this.
“All right. I just… they can be a bit much if you’re not used to them and—”
“It’s fine, I wasn’t offended or anything!” I hastened to say.
Luke nodded, then gestured past me into his workspace. “Welcome to where the magic happens.”
I turned back around and gasped. There was a gigantic mural of some sort of a nature scene on one wall, and the room was more spacious than I’d expected.
“Oh wow….” I looked around all the framed pieces of art on the other walls in awe. “Wow,” I repeated dumbly. Then I realized I’d thought ofthatword and frowned. “I thought a bad thing.”
Luke chuckled. “Do we need to extend your treat ban until Tuesday?”
“I think so, yeah.” Then, just to make sure we were on the same page, I added, “It wasn’t about you or the art or anything. Just… brain things.”
He put his big hand on my shoulder and squeezed firmly, making my whole body tingle.
“I know. You’re not mean to others, only to yourself.”
Blushing, I stepped away from his touch and to the mural. I wanted to step right back, but I couldn’t. He wasn’t my Sir after all.
Luukas
The munch went better than I’d thought it would. To my surprise, or maybe not really, I started to feel worn out after the meal. There were so many people and even though I called most of them friends and loved some of them like family, it could be a lot.
Tattooing was mostly solitary work with one client at a time. There was of course hanging out, too, but I guess I was still Finnish enough that my genes made me a bit of a hermit. The American way of being so people oriented had never been me.
I still needed to think about what Harriet had said they wanted to do to remember Elio. I knew that they’d had a memorial service in the community for him while I was in Italy for the funeral, but everyone had known better than to try to drag me into it.
The funeral had been bad enough. In various ways and for multiple reasons.
If they wanted to celebrate him now, they could. Hell, theyshould. I could feel torn about it—again, in various ways—but he’d been theirs too. Mainly mine, but also all of theirs. They’d loved him, because my husband had been lovable. Mostly.
Having Sara flirt like they always did was fine, except somehow it wasn’t when it was at Bear. That sent alarm bells through my brain, and I tried to un-caveman myself with little success.
As soon as I had Bear in my room, I felt bad about it. Especially when he seemed so overwhelmed by Sara’s antics.
I was proud of my space. It showed my personality and skill really well, and felt as much like home as my apartment.
Bear’s self-recrimination was sort of funny, but I also knew he needed me to enforce the rules I’d agreed on, so I did.
I touched his shoulder to comfort him, and he swayed toward me, pressing against my touch. Then, as quickly as it had happened, he pulled away, and I felt… bereft in a way I couldn’t explain.
He wasn’t my submissive. He wasn’tminein any way. Something about the thought made a sliver of uneasy disappointment lodge somewhere near my heart.
“What’s this?” he asked, pointing at the mural.
“Oh, that’s a stylized copy of a picture I took when I was five years old. It was on a disposable, crappy camera I’d gotten when we went on a vacation that summer. It’s called Koli, it’s in eastern Finland, close to where friends of my family had their summer cottage.”
“Can you show me how it looks like in real life sometime? I mean pictures?” Bear glanced at me. “This is so pretty; the colors are lovely.”
“Yeah, of course. When we get home, I’ll show you.”
