“That he is.” Josiah smiled at the expression on Alfie’s face. “That he is.”
After they closed the bar, Denny lingered, probably to make sure Josiah was okay with what they’d talked about.
“Yeah, honestly, it’ll take some time to get used to the idea, but thanks for telling me,” he said.
Denny leaned to the wall by the back door and sighed. “It’s… going to be weird. I did some… research earlier—”
“Wait, hold up, does your tone suggest what I think it does?” Josiah gawked.
Denny blushed and ducked his head. It was adorable as fuck. “Yes. I watched some gay porn,” he grumbled, as if annoyed.
A short laugh burst out of Josiah. “Oh, okay. How was it?”
“Enlightening.”
Because he could be a bit of an asshole, Josiah teased Denny further. “I’m pretty sure you’re blushing hard enough for me to feel it from five feet away, man.”
Denny groaned. “Look, it’s weird. Not the porn, but….”
The seriousness of his voice gave Josiah a pause.
“Okay…?”
“At the moment, I know I can get turned on by men. That I actively find them attractive. But… there’s this part of me that questions on how much of my feelings toward you have been purely friendly and how much has been… more? Except I never understood it?” Denny lifted his gaze to meet Josiah’s and he looked miserable. “So I need time to figure that out. Not distance, I don’t think we do that well apart, but I don’t really feel like….” He huffed out a breath in frustration.
“You don’t want to talk about sex with me, just in case thereissomething between us you haven’t figured out yet?” Josiah slid straight back into the I-have-no-clue-what’s-going-on-or-what-to-think-territory.
“Yes. That.” Denny was visibly relieved.
“Okay, well, that works for me. I love you and I want what’s best for you and clearly this is it. So if you want to talk about anything, I’m here. No judgment. It’ll be weird, given everything, but you’re my best friend, Denny. We’ll see this through like everything else, right?”
“Right. Thank you.” Denny smiled and pushed away from the wall.
They hugged and then Denny left to walk to his car and drive back home. He was the master of limiting his drinking when he was driving, but every time Josiah still worried.
He guessed that was love, really. Worrying about someone’s well-being.
He double-checked the locks and went upstairs. He took a quick shower and then had some sandwiches for very late dinner, and wandered into his bedroom and climbed into bed.
As he settled and made himself comfortable, he got a text from Denny saying he’d gotten home safely. Josiah smiled and was finally able to relax.
His mind went through the conversation from earlier. The fact that Denny had talked about dating once he’d sorted his head out was… it was a miracle? A blessing? A bit of a curse? It was everything Josiah had ever wanted, but also the thing that he feared the most.
He loved Denny more than anyone in his life. He had Denny, Sammie, and the people around the Hare, and that was it. Nobody else. So the mere thought of trying to date Denny, for Denny being available and into that sort of thing terrified him.
It appeared that sometimes dreams did come true, but there were also consequences and theysucked.
He felt like he’d just fallen asleep when his phone rang on his bedside table. He almost knocked it to the floor in his disoriented scramble to get grab it.
“W-huh?”
“Josiah, we need help,” Yolanda’s tone was like an ice cold tub of water had been poured on him.
“Okay, okay, what’s happening?”
“We were on our way home and we saw flames. The old guy, he’s gone, Josiah.” She sobbed. “So’s most of our stuff.”
“Shit, okay. Are you guys hurt?”
