Denny
Melody seemed to sense his mood, as she fielded more calls than usual and took on more responsibility on Wednesday.
The therapy session with Dr. Jarvis had ended up lasting for three hours, and Denny had a new appointment for Friday.
As he’d made his way home on Tuesday, he’d felt numb. It was as if his brain had just stopped for a while. The idea of him not being straight was… interesting. The whole“default-straight”thing made sense, as most people of his generation were raised exactly like that. If someone figured out they weren’t straight, good for them, but next to nobody Denny had ever known had been taught that not being straight was a valid option.
Dr. Jarvis had also suggested that maybe he should think back into his teen years before Dave’s death. See if he’d blindly followed in his brother’s footsteps when it came to his sexuality. Yeah, Band-Aid, much?
Denny’s mind was still in the past the next day, and thus Melody had taken over. He ran on his treadmill and thought about it all. He’d been in numerous locker rooms with his brother and other guys during his informative years. The first thing boys learned there was not to look at other boys too closely. Sure, everyone still stole glances, but there were limits.
He remembered his brother having a crush on Jane Seymour back in the days when their mom was obsessed withDr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Dave had also talked about girls he’d met and had even made comments about the women in other shows their mom watched, likeDallasandDynasty.He’d also had posters of some female athletes on his walls, among the sports cars.
What had Denny had? Oh, some hockey players for sure. He’d—Denny stumbled a little and slowed the treadmill to a stop. He’d had a poster of the cast ofBeverly Hills 90210, but now he could only remember Luke Perry and how much his bad boy character had excited him as a fourteen-year-old.
Denny picked up his towel and wiped his neck and face as he walked to the window. After Luke Perry’s character there’d been Spike inBuffy the Vampire Slayer. He’d liked the female characters just fine, but he somehow hadn’t been that into them. Not enough to gush about the actresses’ breasts like most guys in his class, for sure.
Maybe he should do some… research? See if now, armed with this sort of realization and while he was sober, he found gay porn… interesting? He’d seen it. As a joke while younger, whennotreacting to it was the only option, and then a couple of times when he and Josiah had gotten high and had had computer access at hand. Because of course they’d dare each other. Josiah had said he didn’t need to see another vagina ever again after one somewhat hazy night of dares and Pornhub.
Yeah. Denny needed to go home and figure this thing out before he headed to the Hare later. He couldn’t face Josiah without knowing at least something for certain.
An hour later, he sat on his bed with his laptop on his lap and swallowed hard. He was over forty, for fuck’s sake. Why was he so afraid of clicking the video? So what if he liked men too? It didn’t matter to him, at least not in a negative way. He knew nothing would really change, except maybe he could be more authentic, then? On some level, he’d always felt a little bit off. As if he didn’t understand things in the way other men might. He’d loved all his wives, but had he been that into the physical part of the relationships?
That had been one of the key points of the latter part of his conversation with Dr. Jarvis. How to figure out what he was feeling when it came to his sex life thus far.
He liked getting off. Most men did. He’d gotten off with his wives. Maybe not regularly and maybe he had never gotten the whole thing, hadn’t felt like sex was all it was hyped up being, but….
He clicked the link and watched.
He’d chosen the particular clip because the men in it looked sort of porn-handsome but not over-the-top muscular or just… nothing too much or unrealistic in the porn way. Sure, the dicks were bigger than average and there was grooming going on in places most regular guys wouldn’t groom themselves, but this was… okay?
To his surprise, when he turned his brain off and listened to his body, the thing that stirred his arousal for the first time was after some sort of an intro, when one of the men pushed the other against a wall and kissed him. They made out as if they wanted to devour each other, and suddenly, Denny felt blood rushing to his dick.
Then the one with dirty blond hair pulled away and put his hand on the throat of the darker-haired one.
“You gonna be a good boy for me?” the blond asked in a gravelly voice, and something about it went to Denny’s psyche, because he shivered, goosebumps starting from the back of his neck to every direction.
Holy fuck.He’d never had such a visceral reaction to any porn he’d seen.
“Y-yeah, please,” the darker man stuttered, and the scene changed to them making out on a bed.
The clip proceeded with the guys jerking each other a little, then the one Denny suspected would be doing the topping flipped the brunet over and rimmed him for a long time.
There were some very, very well chosen lines of dirty talk along with the bottom’s moans, and Denny shouldn’t have been that surprised about how fast his semi turned into a full-on erection inside his sweats.
He finally gave in and reached into his pants, wrapping his hand around his cock. Jesus fucking Christ, when had his own touch felt this good?
“A-are you going to give me your cock anytime soon?” the bottom asked, sounding bratty as hell.
Denny grinned at the sight, and then squeezed his dick when the top slapped the brunet’s left ass cheek while biting the right one.
“How about now?” The magical porn effect of no visible lube even though there clearly was some used, the blond pushed into the ass of the brunet.
The fucking got harsh and a bit brutal pretty fast, and Denny was equally turned on and a little concerned. He moved the laptop from his thighs and kept his eyes on the screen.
He touched himself, even grabbed his own lube from the bedside table to make it more comfortable, and then the top flipped the bottom over and pushed back inside him. The men made eye contact and there was something tender in their faces when the blond leaned down to kiss the brunet.
Denny twitched as he came abruptly, shooting ribbons over his T-shirt and fist. The sound of ripping fabric barely registered as he panted for breath. With wide eyes, he stared at his dick as if he’d never seen it before. Then he realized where the sound had come from. He’d put his finger through the hole on the thigh of his sweats, he’d been stroking his own skin through the hole, just like Josiah had done at the cabin.
