“No he doesn’t. Nobody does. But he likes his video editing gig and the Hare.”
“And Drea,” Denny said, grinning.
“Yeah, and her.”
They fell into a comfortable silence again, and soon Josiah noticed Denny had nodded off, so he grabbed the cooler of alcohol and started inside to make something for dinner.
Denny ate enough to not get super sloppy drunk by the time he’d finished his whiskey. Instead, he was wobbly and sad and a little bit pathetic. Josiah made sure he drank enough water and then poured him into bed at the end of the night.
As he was settling on the couch, he heard Denny’s voice from the bedroom.
“Jo? Would you stay here until I fall asleep? I….” His voice was small and vulnerable when he continued, “I don’t really want to be alone.”
Josiah got up, grabbed his pillow and blanket, and carefully navigated the dark cabin to get to the bedroom. He went around the bed and climbed in.
As Josiah settled next to Denny, he let out a happier sigh. “Thank you. You’re my best guy.”
Josiah’s heart did that weird, lurching thing again, and soon after tears escaped the corners of his eyes and ran down onto the pillow.
Denny, oblivious, fell asleep quickly. Before Josiah could move, Denny turned and grumbled, and put his arm over Josiah’s chest. Stuck, Josiah fought the feeling of being in a peculiar kind of ecstasy and complete agony at the same time, and yet somehow, he fell asleep. The next time he opened his eyes, it was morning, and Denny was plastered against his back, still asleep.
For a few moments, Josiah just lay there. Even with the old booze smell coming from Denny, this was the best morning Josiah had had in ages. He soaked in the warmth of the man he loved and closed his eyes for a few moments. He allowed himself to pretend, for those short minutes, because he knew that he wouldn’t get this again.
Then, he carefully slid out of bed and went to the bathroom. He closed and locked the door behind himself. Once he was alone, he looked at himself in the mirror and burst into tears. He needed distance, and it was already breaking his heart like nothing else ever had.
