Josiah threw out a hand to balance himself against the wall.
The same feeling he’d had the last two times Denny’s marriages had started to fall apart filled him like a balloon; elation, shame for feeling excited and hopeful, and mortification for thinking that this could be a good thing. Because it wouldn’t be. Not for Josiah, and certainly not the man he’d loved for fifteen years.
“You okay, boss?” Nelson asked, finished with the chairs.
“Uh, yeah, sorry. Just… stuff.” Josiah gestured with his phone.
Shrugging, Nelson went to the bar to get himself a bottle of water to keep by his spot near the door. Nelson was, ostensibly, the bouncer for the Hare. He did all the things expected of a bouncer, but he also helped around the bar wherever he could.
They had a few temporary helpers who came in whenever Nelson or the twins weren’t available or had a day off, but the three of them had formed this little family around the Hare and Josiah, much like Denny and their other best friend, Sammie.
Speaking of her…. Josiah glanced at the time—from the wall clock instead of the phone in his hand—and walked to the swinging door.
“I’ll be right back, open if I’m not here at six.”
“Will do!” Yolanda replied, while Drea saluted him sarcastically.
Josiah went through the corridor and into his office across the hall from the break room. He slumped into his fancy office chair—a present from Denny when Josiah had bought the place—and called Sammie.
It rang twice, before a very disoriented sounding raspy voice answered. “W-huh? What’s wrong?”
“Shit,shit,I’m so sorry Sammie. I didn’t even think!” Josiah tugged at his own hair in frustration. “Go back to sleep!”
“Nah, just talk. I’m in… I don’t even know. In a hotel somewhere in….” He could practically hear the gears restarting in her head. “Manchester?”
“What time is it there?”
She checked the clock on her phone in the few beats she was silent. “Midnight, almost. I crashed early. Have some interviews tomorrow before the gig in the evening.” He could hear sheets rustling and a sound of her drinking something. “I’m awake now, talk to me, Bunnyman.”
He smiled at the old nickname. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
“Aren’t you opening soon? Isn’t it Wednesday?”
“Yeah, yeah, the kids are opening if I don’t make it back to the front, I….” He let his forehead touch the edge of the desk.
“What’s wrong, Josiah?”
“Kristin is cheating on Denny.”
Sammie inhaled sharply, then cursed up a storm under her breath. “That fuckingbitch!” she ground out. “Okay, but how are you, Bunnyman?”
Josiah blinked. “Huh?”
“Don’t give me that. I know we haven’t actually talked about the fucking mammoth in the room, but… you know. How are you feeling?”
Josiah’s heart slammed against his spine and then against his sternum, as if it was trying to escape. He tried to breathe, but couldn’t.
“…okay, it’s fine, you don’t have to talk to me about it, just breathe. Josiah, please breathe for me,” Sammie was saying.
With his heart still in overdrive, Josiah managed to draw in a breath. He listened to Sammie’s voice and eventually he managed to get his body in control again. If only his mind would be as easy.
“Thanks… I don’t know what—”
“You had a panic attack, it happens. Marie gets them sometimes,” Sammie reminded him.
He did remember a conversation about that subject, so he nodded even though she couldn’t see him. Marie was her bass player and a good friend.
“Okay, I’m okay now.”
