Even when Dev was in his zombie-mode, working away for hours on end, it had been less lonely for Leaf. He’d worked on his own computer, sometimes even on the other side of the house, but still the house felt alive.
Leaf didn’t like the idea of going away, but like he’d told Dev, he had one trip he needed to take. Leaf supposed it would show them all how it might work if he ever went back to working all over the country. He didn’t need the money. He made enough with the shorter, inside-the-state trips and by consulting online. He could do that for the rest of his life pretty comfortably. He just liked the hands-on approach more.
He didn’t tell his musings to Dev and Seth, though. They had their own things to worry about and already had noticed his nightmares couple of times. He didn’t need to worry them any more.
ON THATThursday night, after yet another therapy session, Leaf felt off. They’d delved deeper into the guilt he had for not being able to help the other kids in the cult when he’d started to understand what was going on wasn’t “family love” but instead something evil.
At one point, they’d Skype-called Rainbow and talked with her about it. The doc had obviously liked Rain and her quirky sense of humor, even in the face of something like this. Together, the women had tried to make Leaf see sense, as Rainbow had called it. He’d been a kid himself, not anywhere near the oldest or old enough to do anything about what was going on inside the cult.
It didn’t help, though. But then, Leaf thought maybe time would be the only healer.
That night, when they’d all gone to bed and made love together—the second time there’d been penetrative sex between the three of them, this time with Dev bottoming for them both—Leaf couldn’t shake the hollow feeling inside.
He asked to sleep in between Dev and Seth, just to feel safe from both sides, but it didn’t help. In the night, the horrors started their replay in his inner projector.
“Leaf, it’s okay. You’re safe.”
“Babe, nothing is going to get you when we’re here.”
“You can wake up now. It’s just a dream.”
“Listen to Seth, love. It’s going to be fine. Just open your eyes for us.”
He suddenly woke, gasping for breath, as he sat up, looking around the dark room wildly, not knowing where or how old he was for a moment or two.
“There we go,” a familiar, warm voice said.
“Is it okay if we touch you, Leaf?” another one asked.
And just like that, Leaf was back in his mind and his body, and nodded rapidly. He needed those touches more than air right then.
“Hey, come here,” Seth murmured, tugging at his arm until he lay back down and put his head on Seth’s chest.
Behind him, Dev readjusted his position and curled around Leaf protectively.
“We love you,” Dev said and pressed a kiss on Leaf’s shoulder.
“Yeah, we’re here for you, honey.” Seth kissed his hair.
The soft sound of paws came from the floor, and suddenly Husky jumped on the bed, then curled up at Leaf’s feet. The dog sighed deeply and went to sleep.
“We need to start working on our issues. These guys need some time off,” Dev said dryly.
“Even the cat is tuned into emotions now,” Leaf said.
“Jesus…,” Seth murmured, and they all chuckled.
It was easy to fall asleep after that.
THE NEXTmorning they were all feeling surprisingly refreshed, so once they’d had breakfast and walked the dogs, Leaf gathered Seth and Dev to the living room and sat them down on the couch.
“What’s up?” Dev asked, looking worried.
Seth wasn’t far behind, his expressive gray eyes betraying every emotion, as always.
“It’s nothing bad. I’ve just been thinking. We should probably have a relationship talk, don’t you think?” Leaf pulled the only armchair in the room closer to the couch so he could see the others and they could all look at one another easily.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it too,” Dev said, nodding, and Seth seemed to be on the same page as well.
