***
The first time Ben went over to the farm to help around with end of the summer yard work on his day off, it had been easy to promise he’d stay overnight. After all, it made no sense to drive back home if he was tired from the work.
He’d ended up doing a lot of landscaping. Well, mostly it was making sure everything that still lived in the flower beds would make it through the cooler weather, and taking out the already dead things.
Spike the dog slept in the shade, never far from where Ben worked. He seemed to be older each time Ben saw him, and that evening when they had dinner in the house, Ben had to ask about it.
“Do you think it’s going to be Spike’s time soon?”
“To join Gavin?” Adrian sighed. “Yeah, I think so.”
The old dog seemed to perk up only when he realized someone was approaching his territory. When, each time, he saw it wasn’t Gavin, he sighed deeply and went back to sleep.
“Maybe Gavin is waiting for him, too?” Ben said thoughtfully, and as if on cue, the lights flickered in a way he would’ve called hesitant.
“Maybe. I guess we’ll see when Spike is gone. I think by now we’ll feel it if Gavin is not here anymore.” Adrian stood to take their empty dishes to the sink.
Ben remained sitting at the table and felt a sliver of excitement and something almost like apprehension jitter through his body. It was approaching bedtime. Where would he sleep? Would theydoanything?
Their mutual attraction was obvious now. It was clear as day, and despite not having talked about it yet, Ben knew they were heading into a relationship.
It hadn’t been easy,per se, but like he’d told Adrian, he’d seen a lot of things about himself in a new light. Like his aversion to flamboyant gay men. It wasn’t dislike, it was fear of being exposed.
Ben’s dad had been old school, and while he hadn’t been a bad man, he had never understood gay people, and all the men he thought were acting feminine were somehow less than the manly men he’d liked to surround himself with.
Having a gay son would’ve been hard on his dad, and Ben had loved his father. Somehow he’d repressed his gay side and hidden in a closet he’d built for himself.
Now, he’d looked into things. Hell, he’d come out to his sister and her husband, his old roommate and friend Jocey, and even his own mother. His mother, who had told him that she loved and accepted him as long as he was happy in his “chosen lifestyle.”
It hadn’t hurt. He’d understood how she’d been raised. Even when she’d told him his dad wouldn’t have understood and maybe it was better he wasn’t around anymore, Ben had felt at peace. A curious, almost hurty peace, but peace nonetheless.
“What’s got you thinking so hard?” Adrian asked, handing him a beer.
He hadn’t even noticed the fridge door opening, and shrugged sheepishly. “Gay stuff.” See, he could still joke about it.
“Well how about we take the gay stuff to the couch and watch theGolden Girlswhile we’re at it?” Adrian nudged his arm and walked to the living room.
“Really?” Ben knew he sounded incredulous, but didn’t care.
Adrian laughed at him. “Hey, it’s a great show. Very progressive for its time.”
“I know that, but it’s awfully….”
“Gay?” Adrian raised a brow at him. “Well honey, so are you,” he said in a campy tone, and Ben laughed with him.
“I guess so,” he had to admit.
“Seriously though, we can watch whatever you want. It’s just one of my comfort shows.”
“I’m fine with it. I used to watch it with my mom sometimes. Besides, Betty White is a badass.”
They settled to half watch the show and occasionally talked about something in that sort of casual, friendly way people comfortable around each other do. The nervousness from before had vanished somewhere, even when their bottles were empty and they’d put them on the coffee table. Having your hands free meant cuddling, in Ben’s opinion, so he dared to lean against Adrian’s side and enjoyed a frisson of excitement when Adrian lifted his arm over Ben’s shoulders and pulled him closer.
He might’ve been smaller, even if not by much, but it still felt weird to be the one being cuddled. Not bad weird, though. Just… foreign.
“Relax, Ben. I can’t hear them over your thinking,” Adrian murmured and settled even deeper into the worn, comfy cushions.
Ben must’ve nodded off, because he woke up when Adrian kissed his temple.
