Still!
Damnit, why did this have to be such a hard choice?
“How did you ultimately decide on what you did?”
“Time and talking to people I care about,” Sarah said. “Like what you are doing right now.”
Easier said than done, I thought, but a fair enough point.
I looked down at my phone, which had the Las Vegas Strip in the background. My mind was absolutely leaning in one direction, my heart in another. It was easy to call the brain the rational actor and the heart the emotional one, but I’d spoken with enough smart people to know that wasn’t always the case.
But I also knew the longer I sat here, split between two very divergent paths, the more heartache I would cause myself. No matter which path I took, I was closing a door, possibly forever.
And then the answer became clear.
One path was definitely open, presented to me this morning as a clear opportunity with clearly defined expectations.
One path was possibly, maybe not even probably, open, based on the hopes that what had happened a few days ago did not define expectations for us going forward.
I sighed. It was so clear, so obvious a decision put that way. It wasn’t a vengeful or angry one, simply one that seemed so undeniably true.
That didn’t make it any less painful.
“I think I know what I need to do,” I said. “Thank you, Sarah.”
“This won’t be the last time I see you, is it?”
“No,” I said with a chuckle cut short.
But it was one of the last times I’d be able to see her on notice of a couple of hours.
By month’s end, if not sooner, I’d be living in an apartment in Reno.
If that meant closing the door on Adrian, so be it. I couldn’t even be sure if that door was open to begin with, anyway. Briefly, I considered sending him a note, but I decided I could not do so to a man who had treated me as he had.
And besides, word could get to him eventually.
If he wanted to prove me wrong about him, he knew how to find me. He had the means to find the real me.
But I couldn’t pretend that he, not the King of Diamonds, would show up.
And for that reason, Delilah Reyes, journalist of theLas Vegas Times,had to take charge, not Delilah Reyes, the woman.
CHAPTER 25
Adrian
“Fucking Reno?”
I was in my office, alone, telling anyone who dared to come near my secretary, let alone me, that they had better have a good fucking reason to talk to me. The despair that enveloped me the past few days had morphed into a general anger, and I was all but looking for a reason to fight someone.
That anger began boiling over when I saw the news article that declared Delilah Reyes, esteemed journalist of theLas Vegas Times,was moving to Reno to do investigative journalism on the growing city. Whatever the fuck that meant. None of us Vales had any fucking interest in that little town; why the fuck would we? Vegas was where the action was, and to pretend otherwise was throwing good money after bad returns.
“Fucking… Reno?!” I screamed, a bit louder.
How dare she let the newspaper make the announcement. She couldn’t tell me to my face?Why the fuck would she? You acted like a shithead, and she chose wisely. Would you have put up with shit like this?
Thoughts did not matter. Rage was crawling under my skin, controlling me. What a fucking public rejection. Who gave afuck if “public” only meant my brothers and maybe some of her friends? She couldn’t do this quietly, could she?
