“You’ve been agitated recently,” he said. “Which I feel like is an understatement for what you are going through. But what’s going on?”
I sighed. Fuck. Really?
“Are you sure you are doing what you need to do?” I said. “Are you sure that Sarah has not taken away from your job as CEO?”
Cassius showed no overt reaction, but a flicker of a smile came across his face. He suppressed it quickly, and someone less knowing of him might not have picked up on it, but he noticed it.
“I’m going to tell you something that you will not believe, but I’ll say it because it’s true. Sarah makes me better as a CEO. Before you react, allow me to explain.”
It was a damn good thing he preempted me, because he was right, I did not believe it.
“Adrian, whatever you are feeling, I felt, or at least something similar to it. Sarah and I, we had our problems, our fights. Our conflicts. But once we got past that? Once we gave up the bullshit? It was empowering. I don’t have to wonder in the back of my mind if I’ll ever get married or who I can trust. I don’t need anyone else but the three of you and her. And with a more settled mind, I can focus on what matters.”
Maybe.
But I still didn’t buy it, even if that fed right into what Cassius said. To me, he’d been at his best when he was seeking to control Sarah; as soon as he’d given that up and just been with her, a part of him softened. I could admit it was not as overwrought a sentiment as I felt at my worst, but it was still real. Of that, I had no doubt.
“What about you?” he said. “What’s going on with Delilah?”
“What does it matter?”
Cassius opened his mouth, paused, and then cleared his throat.
“Never mind that,” he said. “I got pissed when you all pressed me on Sarah, and I won’t do the same to you. I will say, however, be very careful not to make the same mistakes I did. Do not mistake being an asshole and being a king for the same thing. And do not insist on having it all—because you will not. You will either control everything and no one, you will think you control everyone but actually nothing, or you can accept you can control yourself, a lot of things, and no one. It’s the last one that you want, no matter what you think.”
“Alright, Aristotle,” I groused. “Can you leave now?”
Cassius nodded. He heeled without another word, even as I expected him to, and eventually made his way to the elevator. The doors shut.
And I was left alone to ponder Cassius’ words.
And I had to say, even if he had gone soft, even if I did think he wasn’t great for the business…
He did ultimately achieve with Sarah what I wanted with Delilah.
Perhaps there was something worth listening to in there.
Perhaps.
CHAPTER 12
Delilah
Ispent the entire weekend functioning only at the superficial level, every ounce of my mind spent wondering how, once again, I had gotten into a precarious situation with Adrian.
I could no longer pretend that what I had experienced was just an accidental encounter, an interview with a subject that had gone a bit too far. I wasn’t sure that I’d ever pretended that, but the first meeting in Adrian’s office had a level of plausible deniability to it. I’d gone to interview him; it had gotten personal; he’d gotten the wrong message, made a move, and I’d removed myself.
But this?
This was different.
I’d had that first encounter in the back of my mind, and I’d gone over to his place anyways. I’d known how I felt in Adrian’s presence, and I followed him to his penthouse anyways. I knew that drinking wine would lower my inhibitions, that it would lower his, and that something was far more likely to happen.
And I went along with it anyways.
It had been milliseconds before I’d kissed him, and if I hadn’t turned my cheek, who knew what the fuck else would have happened? I’d have fucked him, that was for sure. Whether Iwould have caught my senses with him deep inside me or in the foreplay or only after the fact… did it really matter? No one was going to argue, professionally, that any of that would be appropriate.
But I wasn’t even sure if I wanted my professional self to take the place of my personal self anymore.
