I want to argue, want to say that telling Allison will only put her in more danger. But deep down, I know he's right. She deserves to know the truth. She deserves to make an informed decision about whether she wants to stay with me, knowing what that means.
"When?" I ask quietly.
"As soon as possible. Tonight if you can." Harrison's voice softens. "I know this isn't easy, Grant. I know you care about her. But she needs to know."
Devil puts a hand on my shoulder. "He's right, brother. She needs to hear it from you before she hears everything from someone else."
I nod, even though everything in me is screaming to keep the secret just a little longer. To have a few more days, a few more weeks, where Allison looks at me and sees the man she loves. Not Grant Swain, undercover cop. Not a man who's been lying to her since the day they met.
"I'll tell her tonight," I say.
"Good." Harrison looks relieved. "And for what it's worth, I think she'll understand. From what I've seen, she's a strong woman. She can handle the truth."
I hope he's right. Because if he's not, if I tell Allison the truth and she walks away, I don't know what I'll do.
We talk through the details of how to approach the Rebels, what story to tell, what evidence we're looking for. By the time we're done, I've got a plan. It's not a great plan, but it's something.
Devil and I get back in the truck, and the drive back to the garage is silent. I can feel him watching me, can sense the questions he's not asking.
"You okay?" he finally says.
"No." I grip the steering wheel tighter. "I'm about to tell the woman I love that I've been lying to her since the moment we met. How the fuck am I supposed to be okay with that?"
"She loves you too. She'll understand. Dani understood, and I know Allison will too."
He's right. I know he's right. But that doesn't make it any easier.
When we get back to the garage, I throw myself into work. Oil changes, brake jobs, anything to keep my hands busy and my mind off what I have to do tonight. But no matter how hard I work, I can't stop thinking about it.
About Allison's face when I tell her. About the way she might look at me differently. About the possibility that she might walk away and never look back.
Lee comes out at lunch with his bologna sandwich, and I sit with him at the picnic table. We don't talk much, just eat in comfortable silence. But when he gets up to go back inside, he pauses.
"Everything okay, Dime? You seem off today."
"Just got a lot on my mind."
"Anything I can help with?"
I shake my head. "This is something I've got to handle on my own."
He nods and heads back inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I pull out my phone and stare at Allison's contact. I could text her, ask her to come straight home after school. Or I could wait, pick her up like I always do, and tell her on the drive back to my place.
Either way, tonight changes everything.
I just hope we survive it.
When the afternoon rolls around, I head out to pick up Allison. She's waiting in the parking lot when I pull up, and the smile on her face when she sees me makes my chest tight.
"Hey," she says, climbing into the truck. "How was your day?"
"It was good." The lie comes easy, too easy. "How about yours?"
"Really good. We started a new unit today, and the kids were so engaged." She's animated as she talks, her hands gesturing, her eyes bright.
And all I can think is that in a few hours, I'm going to break her heart.
We drive home, and she talks the whole way. About her students, about lesson plans, about how Whiskers has taken to sleeping on my pillow during the day. Normal things. Beautiful things.
