A pang of guilt rips through me.
If he knew who the baby’s father was, would he still care? Would any of my brothers?
Of all the baby-daddies in the world.
I don’t believe in fate. I believe in hard work, in striving and fighting for everything I dream of achieving. But even I have to wonder if California—Cole—was onto something. It’s too much of a coincidence.
‘Good, thanks,’ I choke out through my guilt.
I’m going to have to come clean—but not until I’ve got my own head around things. And had a serious conversation with Cole tomorrow night about how much involvement he wants in our baby’s life. I have a sinking suspicion if he gets his way, it’ll be a lot. And there’s no court in this country that will stop a man like him having access to his child, and neither would I. It’s not what I planned, but there’s no doubt my baby will have much more opportunities with Cole as his father.
‘You’re kind of pale.’ Concern creases Rian’s face as he leans in closer.
‘Just tired.’ I force the brightest smile I can muster. ‘I’m heading up for a nap. Nico is coming up to make something to eat and to answer a few important emails. I’ll call you tomorrow.’ I pat my brother’s arm, and hug Rebekka before stepping into the lift.
Nico nods at Rian and Rebekka.
‘See you tomorrow,’ Rian calls over his shoulder, taking Rebekka’s hand again. Their fingers seamlessly entwine like they were made for each other.
A pang of longing strokes my chest as I imagine Cole holding my hand like that. Pregnancy hormones are making me crazy. I keep forgetting that I don’t have time for a relationship. Mind you, I didn’t think I had time for a baby, but I’m damn well sure I’m going to make time. My baby will be so loved. I might have to rock him in my arms at my office, and rely on his godfather to feed me, while I feed the baby, but we’ll work it. Scarlett recommended a couple of nannies. I want to do as much of it as I can manage myself to bond with the baby, but I’m under no illusion—Iwillneed help.
When we reach my apartment door, Tate goes in first, scanning it, hand holstering his gun like there’s a bomb waiting to go off somewhere.
This is getting old now.
The only bomb that will be detonating is when I have to tell my brothers I slept with Cole Hartmann—and given the chemistry crackling between us this afternoon—I can’t promise I won’t do it again.
I meet Nico’s eyes. ‘You okay?’ He whispers.
‘Nowhere near,’ I admit. All the emotion from this afternoon rises like a tidal wave in my chest—shock—fear—hope—confusion. Stupid, pent-up tears spring to my eyes, leaking like a burst pipe. ‘For fuck’s sake,’ I sniff. ‘When did I become such a crier?’
Nico swipes my tears away with his thumb, his lips curving up in a small smile. ‘Around the same time Cole Hartmann wrecked your vagina with his giant penis, I assume. So much for him compensating for something with the building.’
I laugh, despite myself. ‘Yep, the man has a giant dick, a giant chain of hotels, and he’s also a giant fucking red flag—yet I still fancy the fucking pants off him.’
‘There are worse things that could happen than fancying the father of your child.’ Nico shrugs. ‘You could be married to him and not fancy him at all.’
‘Marriage?’ I splutter. ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Although Cole’s comment about “for the rest of our lives” is still fresh in my mind. He didn’t mean it. Did he?
‘All clear.’ Tate returns to the hallway. ‘I’ll wait outside the door, give you two a bit of privacy.’
I’m not stupid. This is Tate’s way of extracting himself from all the sordid details—again. We’re back to plausible deniability.
Nico boils the kettle. ‘How often does your housekeeper come by?’
‘Four times a week.’ I open the cupboards, scouring for something to take the edge off until Livvie arrives. I deliberately don’t keep treats in the house because I’m a fiend for them, but today, needs must.
‘You might want to up that when the baby comes.’ The kettle hisses to boiling point, and Nico grabs two mugs.
‘I thought the same. It’s bad enough having bodyguards and nannies and siblings all traipsing through my home day and night. Will I ever get any alone time again?’ I accept the mug he hands me.
‘Did you ever get any alone time in your life?’ he teases.
‘Once or twice.’ I rub my palm over my bump. ‘And look how that ended up.’
‘Well, they’re probably right to keep you on a tight leash.’ He winks. ‘Also, just saying… you’re twice as fertile immediately after you give birth, so unless you want another one of Hartmann’s babies, you better make sure he keeps it in his pants.’
‘Don’t joke, Nico, please. It’s been one hell of an afternoon.’ I cradle my cup, blowing on it.
