Something big.
And whatever it is...
It’s life changing.
Chapter Twenty-Four
ZARA
My hand slowly reaches for my stomach.
There’s a baby in there.
A real fucking baby.
Dr Tessa picks up the phone on her desk and hits a button. ‘Bring in some sweet tea for two, please.’ She places it back in the receiver and turns to me. ‘It’s good for shock.’
I nod, barely able to speak.
‘When you’ve had a cup of tea, I’ll bring you through to the other examination room. There’s an ultrasound machine in there. I’ll do a scan, and we’ll ascertain how far along you are. From there, we can see what your options are.’
‘Options?’ I croak.
She holds my gaze. ‘If you want to continue with the pregnancy, or organise a termination.’ There’s no judgement in her tone.
‘I’m not having a termination,’ I blurt. The words rush out of my mouth far more aggressively, than I intended. ‘I didn’t plan this baby. Frankly, I’m fucking terrified about the repercussions of this. I have no idea how to be a mother. Idon’t have a maternal bone in my body. But this baby is a Beckett. It’s mine. And I’m keeping it.’
Her lips curve upwards with a hint of approval. ‘You’re already a better mother than you know. Your baby is lucky to have you.’
A knock sounds on the door a split second before the redheaded receptionist enters, carrying a tray with a teapot, two cups and saucers and a plate of biscuits. She places it on Dr Tessa’s desk with a smile, then leaves us to it.
‘Sorry, I’m taking up your lunch break,’ I remember.
‘It’s not a problem,’ she says, pouring the tea and handing me a cup. She watches as I take a sip. And I know what she’s about to ask. The same question everyone is going to ask. ‘The baby’s father…’ she trails off. ‘Do you want to ask him to come in for the scan?’
‘No.’ My voice is final. Stupid tears spring to my eyes then. Bloody hormones. At least I know I’m not going crazy. ‘He isn’t going to be involved.’
She nods but says nothing.
We sip our tea in silence. She taps a few more notes into her iPad, and I stare blankly at the wall, while the seriousness of my situation sinks in.
How am I going to run my business with a baby?
How am I going to tell my parents?
My brothers?
How am I going to push a child out of my vagina?
How am I going to know what to do with it afterwards?
How am I going to tell it when it’s older that I have no idea who it’s father is?
A huge sigh slips from my lips. I place my empty teacup on the tray.
‘Ready?’ Dr Tessa glances up from her notes.
‘As I’ll ever be,’ I shrug, standing.
