‘The coffee-aversion face. Ronan guessed it when I was about six weeks pregnant. I always loved coffee, then the second I was pregnant, I couldn’t go near the stuff without dry heaving.’ She fluffs her fingers through her hair. ‘Don’t worry, it passes,’ she says breezily, like she hasn’t just completely horrified me.
‘I—’ The word sticks in my throat. ‘No. No, no. I’m not pregnant,’ I hiss. ‘I can’t be. I’m on the pill.’ Memories of that last memorable night with California in Punta Cana blaze through my brain. The image of his cum dripping down my inner thighs.
No.
Savannah is wrong.
She has to be.
Because the alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.
‘I’m just tired. Overbooked. You know what it’s like; it’s hard to say no to any opportunity when you work for yourself. It’s nothing.’ Am I trying to convince her, or myself?
She gives me a knowing smile—the kind only mothers can pull off. ‘Sure, sweetie,’ she says gently, patting my arm. ‘But maybe take a test anyway. Just in case.’
My heart stops for a long beat then slams back to life, lurching erratically in my chest.
Heat floods my cheeks.
My palms sweat.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m absolutely fine.
Yet those two tiny mouthfuls of coffee sit in my stomach like a red flag.
I swallow hard. My voice comes out thin. ‘About the design.’ I clear my throat, straighten my spine and pretend she hasn’t just put the fear of God in me. ‘I’ll be in touch next week with some suggestions, colour swatches and ideas for the space. In the meantime, if you need anything, get in touch with Nico.’
Nico, thankfully, chooses this precise moment to enter the kitchen. After years of friendship and working side by side, day in and day out—he takes one look at my face and instinctively knows something is off. ‘I have everything we need, for now.’ He beams at Savannah. ‘I’m confident Beckett Deluxe Design Agency will be able to deliver your dream interior.’ He makes a point of checking his watch. ‘Zara, you have another appointment in twenty minutes. I’m sorry to cut things short, but we need to leave.’
I could kiss him.
The need to get out of here ASAP is all-consuming because as big as this house is, I feel like I’m suffocating. The walls are closing in with every passing second.
‘Thank you so much for squeezing me in!’ Savannah kisses both my cheeks and pats my arm once more, giving it a secret squeeze.
I place my barely touched coffee cup in her sink. ‘No problem.’
She shows us back to the front door and bids us a cheery goodbye while I gulp in the spring air like a goldfish.
Tate glances at me, frowning as he opens the passenger door for me. ‘You okay?’
‘No, I need to make a doctor’s appointment,’ I confess. ‘I think my iron levels are low or something.’ At least, I hopethat’s all it is. I twist my head to look at Nico, who’s climbed into the back beside Felstead. Nico is certain Felstead bats for his team. I’m not convinced, but what do I know? It doesn’t matter to me either way. ‘Can you schedule me a GP appointment?’
Nico blinks. ‘Of course. Immediately or the next available Dr Tessa has?’
Dr Tessa has been our family’s GP for decades. She’s the best GP in Dublin. Efficient, thorough and utterly reassuring. I just hope to hell she has something reassuring to say to me.
‘Immediately,’ I say, forcing a breath. ‘Please.’
The weight of Nico’s eyes bore into the back of my head as Tate navigates the SUV out of the driveway, but I don’t look round again.
I can’t look round.
Because if I do, I have a horrible feeling I’ll burst into tears.
