“So this random guy thinks I’m an asshole?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him you just hate me cause I’m smarter than you!”
Without thinking, I threw my pen lid at him. Nathaniel caught it with lightning reflexes, his eyes wide as he looked at me. “Did you just throw this pen lid at me?” He looked like he was trying not to laugh, and for some reason, that brought a faint smile to my lips, rage dimming.
“Oh my god!” he gasped as he threw the lid back at me.
I dodged it easily, laughing as it sailed past my head to land on the carpeted floor behind me.
Nathaniel chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair, combing it back away from his forehead. “I can’t believe you threw a pen lid at me!”
“You threw it back!” I defended myself.
“It was return fire!”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Thank you.”
I snorted. “It was not a compliment.”
“Really? I could never have guessed.”
“Sarcasm?”
“Mhm.”
Rolling my eyes, I wiped a hand over my mouth to smother the smile that threatened to linger on my lips. Maybe Nathaniel wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t Alexander. In fact, in this situation,Iwas being Alexander.
“Why is it so important for you to be first?” I decided to ask after a long, comfortable silence.
He didn’t need the scholarship, surely. Based on what little I had seen on his social media, his family were wealthy. He lived in a large house, wore expensive brand clothes, and travelled all around the world. But maybe his parents were like Aunt Vera—they had money but no interest in sharing it with their children once they reached eighteen.
Nathaniel’s expression sobered, but he didn’t object to answering the question. “I’m the oldest of seven children,” he said, “and both my parents are surgeons. My mum moved here from South Korea to study medicine as a young woman and she sacrificed so much. She left behind her parents and her two younger sisters. It was hard for her…being in a foreign country, striving for success.”
“And my dad was adopted as a toddler and brought here from South Korea to be raised in an English family. They were good to him but…it was transactional. And anyway…” He shook his head, slowly bringing his gaze up to look at me. “I’m expected to be the best of the best. They have worked so hard for the lives they have now, and the life they have given my brothers and me, and I feel like I owe them my success. Nothing is good enough, you know?”
I said nothing, words failing me as I digested the truth laced in every word.
“I have always been number one,” Nathaniel went on. “And it’s been something my parents tell their friends and colleagues proudly. If I fail…I’m an embarrassment.”
“One failure surely wouldn’t…” my voice trailed off at the look on his face.
“This subject…I’m doing poorly. My dad is disappointed. He says he understands now why Oxford declined my application…Imustdo well in this final assignment. There’s no other option other than success.”
“Oxford didn’t accept you?” I asked, surprised.
Nathaniel released a bitter chuckle. “Yeah. It’s my greatest shame.”
I bit my lip, debating my next words. Nathaniel was the smartest person I knew, I had always assumed Dawnridge had been his first choice. To know that he too had experienced failure…it humanised him.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get accepted into Oxford, but Dawnridge is an incredible university,” I tried to comfort him. “You’re not a failure.”
Nathaniel smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you.”
“And your dad may be disappointed, butyoushouldn’t be,” I went on, “you’re at the top of your course regardless of your one slip up in this subject. It’s okay to not be at your best all the time.”
“I know, I just…not all my brothers are as academic as I am,” he sighed, leaning back against the cushioned booth. “I don’t want them to experience the same pressure that I have. I don’t want them to kill themselves trying to live up to my parents’ expectations. If I am successful, if I make them proud, maybe my brothers will have more room to chase their own dreams.”
