Liar.
Nathaniel sighed. “Then why do you refuse to collaborate?”
“Because you’re only interested in collaborating to benefityourself,” I snapped. “You would have paid me no attention if I wasn’t a threat to your ranking. And I have no interest in wasting time with someone so selfish.”
In hindsight, my harsh words were notgood. But at least I didn’t punch him.
He didn’t follow me the rest of the way to the library, and I didn’t look back to see if my words had wounded him.
The third good thing I did that week was attend church with Auden.
It hadn’t been something I planned on doing. I hadn’t been inside a church since my father’s funeral, yet Auden had requested it, and I suppose I was curious to know how it would feel being inside one again.
There was a Catholic church two streets down from Auden’s school, so we caught the bus and walked to the front gates with a sign that said, ‘All are Welcome’.
The Devil inside me quietened as we stepped inside, holy water anointed to our temples as we bowed before God.
There were a few scattered elderly people, a young family, and us. It was quiet. I glanced sideways at Auden whose gaze was fixed on the sculpture behind the altar. It was of Mary and a young Jesus, Mary’s arm wrapped around her small son, a soft smile on her face.
“Why did you want to come here?” I whispered.
“I wanted to talk to God,” Auden answered softly.
I suppressed a scoff as I looked away. God abandonedus. What kind of God demanded worship and offered nothing in return?
Careful,the Devil warned,we’re in His house now.
I swallowed back my retort and bowed my head, feigning devout reverence while we waited for the mass to begin.
A hymn filled the church as a middle-aged priest with raven black hair and dark eyes walked down the aisle toward the altar. Everyone stood.
I struggled to pay attention throughout the mass, my mind wandering to thoughts of what work I still had to do for university, and when my next shift at the bookstore was.
Auden, on the other hand, looked entirely focused. I wasn’t sure what this new desire to reignite his faith was, but I had to support it. If Auden wanted God in his life, who was I to stop him?
I, personally, was starting to believe there was no God at all. Or at least not the one from the Holy Bible.
All these people had faith in something they could not see. Yet I had seen God, standing behind my mother, while the flames crawled closer. He had done nothing to save me. If anything, he was more like the Devil. But he wasn’t real. None of it was real.
My Father is a proud being. He will not take your insults lightly.
I scoffed. What more could God do to me that he hadn’t done already?
I had seen Hell. And I came out with the Devil on my side.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
If there was a God, he certainly had a sense of humour, for despite my adamant refusal to work with Nathaniel Carrington, we were paired together for our third and final assignment.
How did Nathaniel and I get paired together, you ask? Well, that assholerequestedme. And because Professor Haywood absolutely adored him, his request was approved and I was left sitting there, mouth agape in horror, while Nathaniel swivelled in his chair to face me, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Professor,” I started toward Haywood just as Nathaniel stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
“Thank you for today’s lecture, Professor,” he said, all charm, “I am looking forward to getting started on this final assignment.”
“I too am looking forward to it,” Haywood said, sliding her laptop into its leather case. “I am sure you two will produce a well-researched presentation. You are my top students, so I expect great results.”
“We will not disappoint,” Nathaniel assured her.
