My breath hitched in my throat, conflicting emotions tearing through my heart and mind. I wanted to run to her; wanted to runfromher. I wanted to burrow into her chest, be held the way I used to when I was a small boy, chasing my mother's love. I wanted to abandon her to the House's wicked whims. But I could not leave. Not without my brother.
Reuniting with her no longer had the desired effect. She had taken too much from me. Auden was all I had. And she took him; stole him from me. I had nothing if I didn't have my second half.
“Where is Auden?” I demanded.
She offered no response. Nothing but a blink.
“Where is he?!” I repeated.
Her lips parted, Latin rolling off her tongue. Even now, after all this time, she saw only the Devil and not her son.
“It doesn’t work, Ma!” I shouted, arms sprawled out like an angel’s wingspan. “You’ve tried it before! And guess what? The Devil is still in me!”
Her eyes widened, but she did not stop, nor back away. She was glued to the spot, trapped in the pentagram intended for me.
“Tell. Me. Where. Auden. Is!”
She refused to answer, voice rising as The Lord's Prayer spilled from her lips. There were no flames, but I could feel their heat. It burned through me until manic laughter erupted from deep inside of me, a dormant volcano no longer.
"…Hallowed Be Thy FUCKING Name!" I prayed with her, both hands wrapped around the crucifix in mock prayer. "What does that even mean, Ma?! Do you even know?!"
It means to make holy the name of God,the Devil answered my question,and separate it from all that would dishonour it.
"Well, this…" I said, gesturing to my mother, the pentagram, and the remnants of a House that no longer felt like a home. "…none of this honours God! You idolised Joe—a human—over your God, allowing him to corrupt your soul. I may be the Devil, but you are certainly no saint. Where is Auden?!"
The Latin, the prayers, they continued as if I had said nothing.
Shaking my head, I stepped forward to snap her out of her mania, to plead for whatever part of my mother was left in this empty shell, but my hands passed right through her.
I stumbled forward, the absence of a solid form sending me straight inside the pentagram. Glancing in between my hands and my mother, my momentary confusion prevented me from registering the circle of flames crawling toward me. It wasn't until thick smoke clouded my vision that it hit me. I was exactly where I had been all those years ago. Had this all been some kind of trap?
A tug on my shirt diverted my attention, gaze falling on Auden, an endless stream of tears cascading down his face. He was four years old again, and scared, rocking back and forth as he coughed, and coughed, and coughed. I really had returned to that night in North Lane. Had I ever left?
Joe sidled up to my mother, his dark eyes ablaze with flickering flames. They spoke in tongues, their voices rising louder in unison, the flames growing taller. I was succumbing to the smoke once more, just as I had as a boy.
Falling to my knees, I reached for Auden, desperate to shield him from the raging heat.
You will die. You have to let me in.
Curled up, gasping for air, I watched my mother through the orange glow. She smiled, warmth flooding back into her skin. I screamed. Her smile grew wider. How had I ever hoped to save her?
Let me in.The Devil’s voice was urgent, pleading.I can save us.
My eyelids slammed shut. I couldn’t hold on any longer. Auden was weakening in my arms. His breathing was shallow, ash clogging his airways. I cleared it with my fingers, rolling him onto his side as he coughed up black phlegm.
Let me in!
I was not the villain of this story. I was a hero. I would save my brother. I was not the monster my mother claimed me to be.
But the Devilwas. And I let him in.
My eyelids snapped open as I rose to my feet, the Devil carrying Auden and I through the flames. He placed him down carefully, my mother's gasp stuttering her words as the crucifix she wielded like a weapon fell from her grasp.
The Devil crouched down to lift it, waiting for a burn that never came.
“See, ma?” I asked, voice crackling like wood around a campfire. “Your God has abandoned you. You didn't hallow His name well enough.”
She lunged for me, sharp nails outstretched like daggers. I stepped to the side, the absence of my tall frame sending her tothe floor, knees slamming against the wooden floorboards with a sickening crunch.
