“Don’t patronise me,” I scoffed.
“I’m not,” he said softly, “I’m just trying to understand.”
“Now answer my question. Just the one. Doyoubelieve I have the Devil inside of me?”
A look of defeat crossed his face, and I knew the answer before he even had to say it. “No,” he whispered. “I don’t.”
With a bitter chuckle, I turned away and returned to the counter. I couldn’t leave since I was at work, so I had to rely on Nathaniel being the one to walk away. But he didn’t.
His footsteps stopped at the counter.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” I forced out.
“Is that all you have to say to me?”
“There is nothing to say.” I grew defensive, hands curling into fists at my side as my heart thundered wildly against my chest. Did he want me to apologise?Hewas the one who lied to me. He was the one who was always trying to fix me like I was his little broken project. He was the one who made me open up only to shut me down.
“So what, that’s it then?” he asked, voice cracking. “We’re just…done?”
I didn’t answer.
Nathaniel scoffed and ran his fingers through his hair, messing up the neat styling he no doubt spent several minutes on. “God, Augustus, are you not sick of it? Are you not tired of being your own worst enemy? You think everybody is against you. Have you ever considered that I am just trying to help?”
“What do you want me to say?” I asked, voice cracking. “Because I genuinely don’t know, Nate.”
“I just want you to let me in.”
“I did,” I hissed, “and you called me crazy!”
“I never said that!”
“It was heavily implied!”
“I just want to help you, Augustus.”
“You can’t save me,” I whispered.
“Then let me diewithyou.”
Tears filled my eyes before I had the chance to fight them. What did he see in me? What could I possibly have to offer him? All I seemed to do was hurt him, and yet here he was, fighting for me. No one had ever fought for me before. Not my mother. Not my father. Not Ava. Only Nathaniel.
You could save every soul on Earth and never deserve him.
“I don’t want to be with you,” I said.
Nathaniel’s shoulders dropped and he hung his head in defeat. His lips parted, as if to speak, only for a heavy silence tothicken the air. He nodded without a word, leaving me alone insideBrowning Bookswith only books for company. My heart shattered like a glass cup smashed against a tiled floor. It hurt. It hurt more than anything I'd ever felt before.
You did this to yourself.
I slammed my fist against the counter, pain lancing through my knuckles. Blood fell to the wooden floorboards, trickling in between the small gaps to feed the darkness below.
In another universe, I was someone who could love Nathaniel. In this one, I was someone who only brought him pain.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Heartbreak condemned me to my bed like a sickness, the soft mattress my only comfort. I hid under the covers, its hollow embrace failing to soothe the ache in my chest, the memories of Nathaniel and the way I ended things replaying mercilessly behind closed eyelids.
It's for the best,the Devil reminded me.
