The second: ‘We’ve been invited.’
And the third: ‘It’s in Essex.’
It was finally happening. I was going to find my mother.
Why do you even want to find that woman? We're better off without her.
The Devil’s hatred for my mother went deeper than mine. I suspected it had a lot to do with her attempt to exorcise him from me all those years ago. In his eyes, she was the villain of this story. But perhaps things weren’t so black and white.
In the passenger seat of Nathaniel’s car, I reread the emailed response from the God's Soldiers Church, scoffing at the phraserighteous pathwhich had been repeated numerous times alongsideGod's callingandholy war. Had Joe been following arighteous pathwhen he bedded a married woman? Was itGod's callingto lock said married woman's son up in a dark mirrored room with only a pool of water and the Devil for company?
"Do you think he knows he is being manipulative?" I asked, returning Nathaniel's phone. "Or do you think he genuinely believes in what he is saying?"
"Based on what we learned last semester…I'd say yeah, he knows he's being manipulative," he mused, fingers drumming against the steering wheel as we waited at a traffic light. "But he probably believes in it, too. I'd pay to be a fly on the wall—or I guess universe—when people like him die and wake up in Hell instead of Heaven."
I snorted. "Me too."
We reached Essex in just over an hour, travelling down unmaintained roads ravaged by weeds, scattered twigs snapping beneath our tires. Trees lined either side of the dirt, their twisted limbs shrouding us in darkness. The car’s headlights were our only source of light, streetlamps a luxury reserved for the city.
The GPS led us down a narrow road, Nathaniel and I swaying back and forth as his tires rolled over dips and cracks.
Up ahead, a one-story building was tucked in between tall oak trees, its grey bricks crawling with moss and ivy. A large pale blue banner hung across the front entrance readingThe Church of God’s Soldiers. Trees crowded the dirt covered driveway; fallen leaves scattered along the dry grass. It reminded me of the House on North Lane and the woods that guarded it.
Nathaniel parked the car and climbed out with no hesitation. I, on the other hand, grew weary. As soon as Joe laid eyes on me, our cover would be blown. Although it had been over ten years since he’d seen me, on my knees and gasping for air, I had no doubt he’d recognise the devil within. Not to mention I had the same mess of brown curls and a permanent scowl that only Nathaniel and Auden seemed able to chase away.
I remained frozen inside the car until Nathaniel moved around to my side and opened the door, his long legs bending as hecrouched down and reached for my hand. “This is the moment you’ve been waiting for, right? Your mother could be in there.”
That evil witch? We should leave immediately.
I swallowed hard. If my motherwasinside, would she recognise me? Would she still think I was possessed by the Devil, or would she finally see her son? All these questions raced through my mind, sending my heart beating a million miles per hour.
“Augustus…” Nathaniel said soothingly, “...I’ll be with you the whole time. I promise.”
I allowed him to pull me to my feet and guide me toward the door, his hand warm in mine. There was no doorbell, so Nathaniel raised his fist and knocked. I inhaled sharply and held my breath, anticipating recognition crossing Joe’s face before he banished me without hearing a word I had to say. Only it wasn’t Joe who answered the door, it was a thin young woman in a long, brown linen skirt and a beige crochet cardigan over a plain beige tank top. Her long brown hair was tied back in a single fish-tail braid, her raven-coloured eyes darting from Nathaniel and I with confusion.
“Hi!” Nathaniel greeted the woman with a flash of his disarming smile. The woman brightened to him immediately as he said, “My name is Nathaniel. I was invited here by Joseph Kade.”
“Oh, yes, Nathaniel,” she smiled with yellow teeth, the front two chipped and crooked, “Joe is expecting you.” Her gaze drifted to me, her smile fading, “Only…you.”
“Ah, yes, this is my…boyfriend,” Nathaniel said.
My heart fluttered at the word boyfriend, only to immediately crumble when the woman narrowed her eyes.
“You are both men,” she said.
I was about to grab Nathaniel’s arm to leave when he opened his mouth to speak, his voice smooth and steady as he said, “Yes,well, that’s kind of why we’ve sought out a community that will help us…be sinners no more.”
It hurt to be called a sinner, but I knew Nathaniel was just trying to grant us entry. And it was working. The woman’s suspicions vanished, and she nodded, opening the door wider to let us in. “Of course. We welcomeanyonewho wants to be saved.”
We followed the woman down an empty hallway with cracked, floral wallpaper, the green, red and brown colours desaturated with age. At the end of the hallway, there were plastic chairs scattered across the wooden floor, dark stains almost resembling blood.
A large statue of the cross hung in the centre of the back wall, a small black table in front of it with a Bible, a candle, and a framed photo of Joe. It was unclear whether the God's Soldiers used this room to worship God or their leader.
As we entered a second hallway—this one decorated with religious memorabilia—we heard the faint sound of church hymns from outside. I glanced out the window overlooking the backyard just as the woman said, “That’s our choir. They’re practicing for tonight’s sermon.”
There were a group of six women and three men of various ages standing barefoot in the grass, one bald headed man standing across from them, moving his hands like a conductor. I searched the faces for my mother, but none belonged to her.
The woman knocked on a door at the end of the hall. It had a small plaque hanging eye level that read ‘Captain’. I rolled my eyes. Did he really think they were God’s Soldiers, and he was some kind of Captain? It was deranged. Utterly delusional.
