“Well, since mine is the only one not covered in flour,” the only part of Chase with any on him was the front of his shirt, which clearly happened from standing too close to the other two imps. His hands were clean, so he’d not touched any of it.
“Oh, I’ve got our naughty boy.” Jensen and Mitchell walked in, having just returned from picking up the ice cream cake for me. “Henry, follow me.” Jensen’s displeasure with the situation was clear in his command. Henry flinched but followed him out.
“I didn’t do it.” Chase announced on the verge of tears. “Please don’t punish me.”
I didn’t know his back story, but based upon the fear in his reaction, punishments weren’t foreplay for him, and I hoped Casey caught that too.
“Sweet boy, I don’t believe you did anything wrong,” Casey took his hand, “but let’s go outside and brush you off.”
Putting the boys in the tub or shower would’ve been detrimental to the plumbing lines, and had we thrown them in the pool, yes, that thought had crossed my mind, it would’ve likely done the same to a very expensive pump. “Over by the hose Jamie and Henry.” This was the first time I was truly angry with Jamie, and he knew it. Tears spilled over, though he tried his best to contain them, so I washed his face first before the flour had a chance to get doughy.
Was that even a word? Doughy? Hell, who knows, and at this point, none of the ones swirling through my mind were PG-rated.
“Henry,” Mitchell slid Henry’s shirt off and a poof of white filled the air, “why did you do this?”
“The-the,” he stuttered, “the dough was sticking to the counter so we got the flour but couldn’t open it. And-and it was so soft, so we played in it, but it tasted nasty.” Henry stuck his tongue out and a white streak ran down the center. “Blech.”
“Jamie, I don’t even know what to say.” Nor where to begin. “The kitchen is a mess, the dough was already rolledout, so there was nothing for you to do but decorate your pizza. Now, I don’t even know if we can save any of it.”
“Sorry daddies,” Henry and Jamie said together as they cried and clung to one another.
“Jamie how did it get in your ears?”
“My ear itched.”
“And up your nose?”
“The flour made me sneeze, so I rubbed it.”
I was at a loss for words and did not look forward to the challenge of cleaning up the kitchen.
Casey and Chase went back inside where Mitchell was, likely to attempt to salvage our dinner. A possibility that may not come to fruition. The only positive was that Jamie was dressed in his swim trunks whereas Henry had to be stripped down to his underwear, so it was easier and less invasive to hose him off.
“I’ll grab towels.” Thankful I’d had the foresight long ago to add a storage cabinet for pool towels and supplies on the porch.
“Henry has an extra outfit in the car. I’ll be right back.” While Jensen took care of that I wrapped the still sobbing boys in towels and had them sit in a lounge chair to dry off. Given the Nevada heat, that would take no time at all.
“Stay put until I come back. Do not turn on the hose, do not jump in the pool. Please be good and listen.”
“Yes, Daddy, I promise.”
“I promise too, Daddy Timothy.”
I stepped inside to check on things and just as the slider closed, a chunk of pizza dough fell from the ceiling and onto Mitchell’s head.
Four pizzas just became three.
“I don’t even know what to say.” Though the groan I released spoke for me. Mitchell, Casey, Chase and I stared at the crusty mess. Jensen walked in, took one look at Mitchell and lost it, and his laughter triggered the rest of us.
“I’m at a loss, guys. I’m so sorry about this. I hope dinner isn’t ruined.” I was prepared to buy them a steak dinner to try and make up for this. No doubt the birthday boy was the mastermind behind it all.
Mitchell tossed the dough atop his head into the trashcan. “I think it’ll be all right. I’ll brush off the rest of the dough and do a quick rinse of the toppings. We should be good to go, although you’ll likely find flour for the next millennia. They killed an entire bag.”
“Jesus.” Though praying to any sort of God or saint would do zero good at this point, I still shot a quick prayer out into the universe just for good measure. The damage was done and there was nothing left to do but to clean.
Forever.
“I’ll go dress Henry and bring the boys in.” Jensen took care of the imp twins while the rest of us were attending the kitchen, and I made a mental note to change the air filter before bed. A clogged filter would do more harm than good, and there was no way it hadn’t caught some of this. Bucket after bucket of water was rinsed outside and coated the colorful riverbed of rocks in a dull white sheen. Jensen had put Jamie and Henry in timeout the moment he brought them inside. I’d never been a stern Daddy before, but it was time to find that attribute and utilize it if today was any sign of what my boy had in store for me.
