She did not believe.
Mayhap once he made love to her. He still could not believe she had bidden him join her in her chamber this night. Had he heard her aright? Had he been mistaken in what she meant? To lie with her. To hold her in his arms after so very many long years. To make her his own.
The afternoon swiftly flew, all in a welter of activity and confusion. Night would soon be here. If she’d meant what she said, Katrin would become one with him, heart to heart and soul to soul, as it had always and ever been.
He would convince her then that she was too precious to him to risk her life. That she should stay here, and if she did, so would he.
*
Reagan came toKatrin just at nightfall following what should have been supper, had a formal supper existed. It had not, no one having time to sit down to eat and listen to entertainments. The women had set out food, and folk had taken it as they might, in passing, so to speak.
Had she eaten? Katrin could not remember. She felt hollow and frightened and—
Her emotions overflowed. Had she truly invited Finlay to lie with her this night? What had come over her to do such a thing? It had been an act of impulse that had come from beyond her, and also somehow from deep within. All she had been able to think was, if she went away to battle and he left and returned to his life on the road, she might never have the chance.
Unbearable, that was. Untenable. Unacceptable. But…she must be going mad.
Yet—the way he had kissed her there in her chamber… There had been a wealth of unspoken words in that, an aching, and a demand. There had been music. A promise she could not refuse.
If she did this thing, marched off to war in Geordie’s place and did not come home again, she must have Finlay first. Experience what it meant to lie with him. Explore the deep well she sensed existed between the two of them.
For once in her life she would have what she wanted. Nay, needed.
Reagan found her there in the hall as she directed the women. He came striding swiftly, looking huge and not too clean, and glanced around, his tawny gaze setting on her.
“Katrin, a word.”
Her brows flew up. Usually, in front of others, he called hermistress. She stepped away with him, followed by the curious glances of the women.
He swept her with a hard glance before he said, “I hope ye do not suppose ye are coming with us when we leave to rendezvous with Earl Randolph.”
She drew a breath while protest and a measure of disappointment filled her. She had dared think she might count on Reagan for support. It seemed he, like all the other men, would betray her.
Instead of answering him directly, she asked, “When do we leave, do ye ken?”
“Four days, if we are to be ready. Yer father’s men seem woefully ill prepared, still.”
“Four days?” Her heart leaped. “Ye be certain ’twill be then?”
“Nay, I am not. But if we are to make the meeting place, it cannot be long after.”
Katrin considered that. “Ye will notice I asked when doweleave. To be sure, I will be coming.”
“I think ye should not.”
She narrowed her gaze on him. “Ye? Of all people, I thought ye would be the last to try to thwart me.”
He sighed. Rarely did this man of great energy appear tired. A hint of weariness showed in his face now. “I do not say ye are incapable—”
“Well, then.”
“But I do not wish to see ye come to harm.”
Well, that was stark! “Wha’ makes ye think ye will? Have ye so little faith in me?”
“I have great and splendid faith in ye. But the fact is, if we meet enemy forces or even fall into a skirmish, some o’ us will die. As your brother did at practice. Death on the field is heedless and random. Why not ye?”
“If I do no’ go, it may be my da who falls.”
