He sat up straighter, frowning at her. “Don’t pretend you’ve not thought about it, some ridiculous notion of saving me from myself, well, I won’t have it. So, really, it’s your own fault if this is less than romantic, but… Alice, Alfie Marwick, I love you. I believe I have loved you since the moment you told me that whether I stayed in Little Valentine or not was of no concern of yours. You little liar.”
Alice blushed, uncaring that he had realised the truth even then, for she was still hugging the wordsI love youto her heart. They warmed her from the inside out.
He grinned, looking rather pleased with himself as he reached out and stroked her cheek. Despite the bitter day, his hand was warm, and she turned into it like a cat seeking a caress.
“I love you,” he said again, his voice lower now, full of hope and certainty. “And I cannot bear to think of spending a daywithout you. So I must ask you, my darling, if you would do me the honour of marrying me.”
Alice gazed at him, her throat tight, tears prickling at her eyes.Don’t cry, she scolded herself.Don’t you dare cry. Donotturn into a watering pot!But it was too late. One fat tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another, and another, until a cascade of tears flowed. She gasped and hiccoughed as Aubrey pulled her close, chuckling softly.
“You know, I rather hoped you’d be pleased. I wasn’t expecting such an outpouring of grief.”
Alice thumped his chest. “Stupid man!” she managed, still sobbing. “I am… h-happy,” she wailed as he wiped her tears away with a pristine white handkerchief. But she did not know how to tell him she had never considered marriage and a family. Why would she, when it would mean giving up so much that mattered to her, living a life where she was only half herself, a life where her husband would never really see who he had married, would never trouble himself to understand. She had never considered she’d find someone who would trouble himself to understand, to accept Alfie and give him the freedom he so desperately needed? A man like Aubrey, apparently.
He handed the handkerchief to her, waiting patiently as she blew her nose and gathered her wits.
“Well?” he asked, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes now as he waited.
Alice got to her feet in the jouncing carriage and threw herself into his lap, winding her arms about his neck.
“Ooof!” Aubrey winced, and then laughed as she began peppering his face with kisses.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,” she said, each affirmation punctuated with a press of her lips.
He reached for her face again, holding her still so he could stare into her eyes. “You mean it?”
Alice gave a snort of incredulity. “Aubrey, you are a madman. You love me enough to commit a burglary with me, to accept that Alfie will continue to be a part of our lives, to risk social ruin and an unconventional life where most of your relations will consider you the black sheep, if notactuallycertifiable. I love you so much I can’t keep it in my heart, it’s bursting inside me, pushing at my ribs. It hurts!” she exclaimed, grasping his lapels. “I don’t know precisely when it happened, I only know it did, and so long as you never live to regret that, I shall always be beside you.”
Aubrey said nothing for a moment, just stared at her, and then he pulled her close, his mouth devouring hers, turning her and pressing her against the seat as the two of them struggled to get closer. They shifted around, trying to find a position in the cramped carriage and almost landing on their backsides on the floor.
“Wait!” Aubrey said, breathless now. He sat back on the seat and reached for her once more. “Come here.”
This time he guided her to straddle his lap and Alice went to him, feeling her cheeks blaze as the intimacy of the position was revealed to her. Good heavens.
“Do you mind? If you mind—” he began, but she shook her head, shifting closer and he gasped, falling silent.
Alice’s breath caught too, suddenly aware of how closely they touched, of the feel of that most masculine part of him pressed intimately between her thighs. She had never been innocent. Any innocence she’d once had, she’d lost as a child.You could not live on the streets, fighting to exist, without being faced with the harsh realities of life. She had seen too much, understood too much, and spent too much time protecting herself not to know the facts of life.
She’d never trusted anyone to get close before, too afraid of making the wrong choices, of putting her faith in a bad man. Seeing Lill hurt time and again had only reinforced her fear of letting anyone close, of putting her trust in anyone. Until now. Until Aubrey.
“I trust you.”
He gazed back at her, his hands resting warmly on her hips. “Thank you. I know how precious that trust is, and I won’t forget. Not ever.”
She smiled then. “I know.”
Alice shifted slightly, startled as she heard him groan, closing his eyes, but he didn’t move. Gingerly, she settled her hands on his shoulders. There was no padding in the coat, she realised. Alfie’s coats were lightly padded at the shoulders, and many men of the ton got their tailors to give them the illusion of power by doing likewise. Aubrey needed no such trickery. Her hands moved down his arms to his biceps, and she gave a little squeeze, a visceral sensation of satisfaction thrumming beneath her skin as she felt nothing but hard muscle.
Her own body was strong for a woman’s, honed by her lifestyle, by the need to be quick and agile, ready to climb walls, to lift her own weight up and over windowsills. Aubrey could overpower her, she knew and she had thought it might be hard to let him close, physically as well as emotionally, but it was remarkably easy. There had always been the need for barriers, for defences, for a fast exit, yet in this moment she might as well be naked before him, for all her walls had come crashing down.
He didn’t move, allowing her this moment of exploration, his gaze warm and watchful.
Feeling bolder, Alice reached for his cravat and untied it with deft fingers. He shivered as she pulled it from his neck, revealing his throat, a pale triangle of skin scattered with coarse dark hair. Her pulse thudded harder as she leaned down and pressed her mouth to the tender hollow at the base of his throat. She heard his breath catch, felt his muscles tense, and revelled in the moment.
He was so much bigger than she was, there was such strength sitting passively beneath her, yet she knew that strength would never be used to bully or coerce her. She was safe with him, and that was more than she had ever dreamed of.
“I want to kiss you.”
His voice was a deep rumble of sound, and she glanced at his face, rather shocked by the sheer desperation she saw in his eyes. Perhapssafewas not precisely the word she was looking for. He looked almost feral.
