Alice pulled her nightgown over her head, pushed her feet into a pair of cosy slippers and let out an uneven breath, grateful to be home. Lill had made sure her room was warm and welcoming, the fire burning merrily and giving the room a golden glow that made her feel like all was right with the world, even if that was not precisely true. The evening had not gone how she had expected. Not at all.
That Aubrey had unmasked her was shocking enough. Discovering that he hadn’t found her repellent, that the idea of a woman masquerading as a man hadn’t made him want to send her to Bedlam, well, that had been one thing. The realisation that he wanted her still, that the burgeoning attraction she had felt growing between them had been strong enough to overcome what must have been a tremendous shock—well, that was something else entirely. What, though?
On the one hand, she could not stop smiling, hugging the knowledge to herself tightly. On the other, she wanted to run. To run far, far away and never look back. He terrified her. The desire to know her, to accept her, just as she was, shone in his eyes, and yet he did not understand how she would wreck him, destroy his life and his reputation.
“Knock, knock.” Lill poked her head around the door, smiling, her blonde hair tied up in rags. “I heard you come in. Want a cuppa?”
“I’d love one,” Alice said, something relaxing inside her at the appearance of her friend, the one person in the world who had always been there for her, who accepted her exactly as she was.
Kicking off her slippers, Alice got into bed, tugging the covers over her legs.
Lill set the tray on Alice’s dressing table, poured them both out a cup, adding a generous amount of sugar for Alice, and handed her the cup. Then she cut an enormous slice of fruit cake, put it on a plate and set it on Alice’s lap. “I know you’re always famished after a job,” she remarked before taking her own cup and setting it down beside the bed.
Climbing in beside Alice, she rearranged the pillows and settled back with a sigh. “That’s better.”
“It is,” Alice agreed, sipping her tea. The warmth of it eased through her, relaxing her taut limbs after her furtive return home in the freezing dead of night. “A lovely cup of tea puts everything to rights,” she said, repeating a phrase that Lill was fond of.
Her friend eyed her warily. “Something need putting to rights, then? All go to plan, did it?”
“Not exactly.” Alice broke off a piece of cake and popped it in her mouth. The rich, luxurious taste of spices and sweet dried fruit was delicious, and she savoured it.
“Gonna tell me?”
She felt Lill watching her, waiting. “Don’t panic.”
Lill stiffened. “Should I pack?”
“I said,don’tpanic,” Alice exclaimed. “Just hold your tongue and listen, and… and I’ll tell you everything.
Lill made a buttoning motion over her lips, and Alice laughed. Then she took a deep breath and told her everything, about Aubrey’s discovery, about everything he’d said, everything he’d promised.
When she had done, she set her teacup aside, bracing herself for the telling off she assumed was coming next. She turned to Lill, and to Alice’s disquiet, discovered her friend’s eyes were bright with tears.
“I always prayed you’d find a good man, someone who saw you, all of you, and realised just how brilliant you are.”
Alice looked away, pulling a disgusted face that didn’t feel the least bit convincing, chasing a raisin around the edge of her empty plate with a finger. “Don’t be daft.”
“No, love.” Lill reached over and put her hand on Alice’s arm. “I know you. I know you’re scared to death, but chances like this, men like this, they don’t come along every day.”
Alice swallowed, feeling an odd tightening in her throat. “You think I should trust him? You think I should risk everything on him standing by me, no matter what?”
“I do.”
“It risks you too, Lill. If everything goes to hell, we’ll have to start over.”
Lill shrugged. “Won’t be the first time, but this might be the last. Besides, you’re always the one that risks everything, why stop now. You’ve gone out into the dark, night after night, risking your neck to provide for us while I sat snug at home. You deserve this.”
Alice gave her a stern look and reached over, giving her hand squeeze. “You fed me and looked after me, you’ve been there through everything, Lill. Knowing you were waiting at home, that you’dmadea home for me to come back too, that was worth any risk.” Lill smiled, and Alice relaxed again, considering Aubrey. “He’s decent, Lill. Honest.Kind.”
“He’s like a bleedin’ knight in shining armour is what he is,” Lill said with a bark of laughter. “Got a white horse, has he?”
“I don’t know.” Alice grinned, feeling suddenly like maybe there was hope if practical Lill believed in him too. Only a glimmer, fragile enough to be snuffed out by a stiff breeze, but that was more than she’d ever had before. The sight of Aubrey standing before her, half naked, returned to her mind, and she felt desire lance through her, so swift and intense it shocked her to her bones. Oh, she had wanted him, to touch him, to put her hands upon him everywhere. The temptation to press her mouth to that flat, masculine nipple, to tease it with her tongue, had been so strong, so hard to resist, it had frightened her—frightened her still. Yet he had been so careful, so sincere, and she wanted so badly to trust him.
She looked back at Lill, smiling stupidly, but this time caught Lill’s worried expression before she could hide it, saw it turn to one of regret. Her heart plummeted. “What? What is it?”
“I hate to do this when you’re happy. It’s so long since you’ve been happy,” Lill said, her voice strained.
“Lill, tell me at once!” Alice said, truly alarmed now. She set the plate aside, getting to her knees on the mattress as Lill fished a crumpled letter from her dressing gown pocket.
