‘God, Mum, yeah.’ He laughs in disbelief. ‘D’you think I’m incapable?’
‘Of course not!’ I clear my throat. ‘So, what’s the restaurant?’
‘It’s this amazing place, just opened. Called Bracken – have you heard of it?’
‘Um, no, love.’
‘… They do those tasting menus, y’know? Like, ten courses of totally amazing food?’
‘Wow!’ I blow across my tea, remembering how uninterested he was when Frank bought the food truck.How he’d flatly refused to learn even the basics and do the festivals with his dad. ‘So you really like the idea of working in a professional kitchen?’
‘Yeah.’ He grins. ‘It’ll be fun!’
‘And … you don’t think it’ll make you queasy? You know, with your fear of blood and all the butchering and offal and—’
‘Mum, that’s justmeat.’ He shakes his head at my idiocy. ‘I’ll be fine.’
I muster a broad smile. ‘That’s great then. I’m so happy for you. So when is this happening?’
He grins, cheeks flushed with excitement. ‘My first shift’s on Saturday.’
‘Saturday? You meanthisSaturday?’
‘Yeah!’
‘But that’s … that’s three days away. How are you going to pay your first month’s rent if—’
‘Paid it,’ he announces. ‘Used all my Christmas money and savings.’
‘Oh, Eddie.’ I stare at him, emotion surging up in me like a wave. ‘I wish you’d said. We could’ve helped with that.’
‘Well, youcanhelp. Could you or Dad give me a lift?’
‘To Edinburgh? Of course, darling!’
‘Can we do it tomorrow?’
‘Tomorrow?’ I exclaim, then quickly gather myself. ‘Yes, if that’s what you want. As long as you’re sure.’
‘I am sure.’ He grins.
‘We’ll drive you over after work then,’ I say, deciding that this reallyisgood news. At least, he seems to have thought it through.
‘So you’re getting rid of me at last.’ He chuckles.
‘Oh, Eddie.’ My eyes prickle with unexpected tears. ‘I don’t want to get rid of you. But I’m happy for you. I really am. Wait ’til Dad hears about this!’
He beams at me and then, unexpectedly, he throws his arms around me – my big, tall, handsome boy who’s barely found it in himself to be civil to me for months now. Years, even. My heart seems to splinter as he pulls away. ‘Sorry I’ve been … y’know,’ he murmurs. ‘Like I’vebeenlately.’
‘Oh, love,’ I start. ‘You don’t have to apologise.’
He shrugs, looking down at his feet. ‘It’s just, Bella and Ana are so clever and amazing and they’re getting on with their lives and doing so well. And you and Dad are always going on about that. About how proud you are …’
‘Eddie, that’s not true,’ I exclaim. ‘We are proud but we’venevercompared you. We don’t “go on”.’ Have we, though, unwittingly? Guilt twangs at me, deep in my gut.
‘… And I’ve felt left behind,’ he continues, ‘like I’m this failure, this massive disappointment to you both—’
‘Honey, you’re not! Please don’t say that. You’re not at all.’ Tears escape now, trickling down my cheeks. As Eddie looks up at me I see that he is welling up too. ‘You have so much going for you,’ I add. ‘You’re clever and popular and kind and I’msoproud of you.’
