He waits, his entire body tense as if the baby might suddenly burst right out of her. Suddenly there’s a flicker of movement – ‘Whoa!’ he yelps, and his hands shoots away. They look at each other and laugh.
‘Was that it? The baby kicking?’ He is trembling slightly.
She nods, grinning. ‘I’m looking forward to it, y’know.’ She seems to catch herself then, and chuckles. ‘Sounds a bit mad, doesn’t it? Like it’s a holiday or a birthday or …’ She stops, pushing back her hair. As she turns to face him, her gaze fixed directly on his, Eddie is aware of a thudding in his chest.
‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘I’m looking forward to it too.’
Lyla looks at him in surprise, and Eddie is surprised too because until he said it, he didn’t knowwhathe was feeling. He’s been scared and sometimes he’s found himself plunging into a deep well of desperation. He’s also been furious with himself for his part in this: for having unprotected sex, for being carried away in the moment. Ashamed too, for not knowing the best thing to do. Hecan hardly talk about it with Raj and Calum, because what is there to say really? Besides, he hardly sees them these days.
But now, as clear morning light beams into Lyla’s living room, this new sensation has landed on him like sunshine.
He’s going to be a dad.
They’re going to have a baby.
A little boy or girl and he’s going to be the best dad he can possibly be.
And right now Eddie knows that, whatever happens between him and Lyla – and really, he knows thatnothingis going to happen, because she is way out of his league – he will love this child with every cell of his being, until he takes his last breath.
‘Eddie?’ Lyla’s voice is gentle, her blue eyes wide. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yeah,’ he croaks, rubbing at his eyes.
‘Oh, you’re upset …’ She takes his hand and sparks shoot through him.
‘Yeah. No, I’m not. It’s not that. It’s only …’ He squeezes his eyes tight shut for a moment.Get it together, idiot!‘I s’pose it’s only really just hit me,’ he admits, blushing.
‘Bit of a delayed reaction?’ She smiles teasingly, sunlight dancing in her eyes.
‘Yeah. I’m sorry—’
‘No need to be sorry. This isn’t your fault, y’know. It was both of us, wasn’t it?’
He nods mutely and she takes both of his hands in hers. Then her lips are on his and he anticipates a quick kiss, just to sayIt’s going to be all right.But it’s not quick.The kiss carries on, growing deeper and making Eddie’s head spin like the roundabout at Winter Wonderland. For a split second he thinks,New menu today! I can’t be late!But the thought disappears like a popped bubble, and then Lyla is getting up from the pristine sofa, and they’re in her bedroom, and she’s pulling off her clothes and Eddie is too, and he’s kissing her beautiful soft, rounded pregnant body all over and it’s actuallyhappening.
He’s scared at first, in case it does anything to the baby. ‘Is this okay?’ he whispers.
‘It’s fine.’
‘You’d say, wouldn’t you? If it was going to hurt—’
‘The baby’s fine,’ she reassures him. ‘Don’t worry.’ For a moment it feels all wrong, as if a third person is here; a tiny person that they definitely shouldn’t be having sex in the vicinity of. But Lyla pulls him close and into her, and as she gasps in pleasure, Eddie feels his worries floating away like dust particles dancing in the morning sun.
*
‘OH MY GOD WHAT TIME IS IT!’ Eddie shoots out of bed and scrambles for his phone. Whereisit?
‘What’s wrong?’ Lyla asks, blinking in the light.
‘We fell asleep! I’ve got to go to work! What time is it?’
‘Oh. God. Hang on …’ She pushes tangled hair from her face and clambers slowly out of bed. Normally Eddie would be transfixed by this. By a beautiful naked girl strolling casually around her bedroom, looking for something. But now he’s filled with panic and already pulling on his clothes.
‘Fucking hell … he’s going to kill me …’
‘Who?’ She frowns. Finally her own phone is extracted from the pocket of her discarded sweat pants.
‘Marius! My boss!’
